@albaacepero: #loserschallenge

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Monday 28 September 2020 23:19:15 GMT
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Grief is a pain that follows you everywhere you go. It’s something you can’t escape no matter how hard you try. Even in the good moments the person you are grieving is always on your mind while you’re wishing they were there enjoying those moments with you. Although I’m trying really hard to keep going, not only because I know Preston would want to see his mama happy but also for Paisley who deserves a happy mama….but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have some really bad days. & I don’t think that will ever change for the rest of my life. It feels like I got a life sentence. For the rest of my life, I have to figure out how to keep going knowing my baby boy isn’t here with me. For the rest of my life I have to feel the pain of having him ripped away from me in the blink of an eye.  Time passing does not make grief slowly feel better… especially when it was your own child you birthed. The world keeps moving as if nothing happened, but mine stopped the day I lost him. Somehow you’re expected to keep showing up, keep smiling, keep working, and keep living, all while carrying a pain that never leaves. People see the moments you laugh, but they don’t see that the ache is still there underneath it all. Grief doesn’t disappear….it becomes something you learn to carry. I’m not sure what it’s like to grieve just any loved one… but I know what it’s like to grieve your child. And it’s the worst imaginable pain and agony. There is no preparing for it, no words that can truly describe it, and no version of life where it ever feels okay. You don’t move on…you move forward while carrying a love that has nowhere to go. And if I have to carry this pain for the rest of my life, it’s only because my love for my son and my daughter will never end. #prestonforever #childloss #okaybaby
Grief is a pain that follows you everywhere you go. It’s something you can’t escape no matter how hard you try. Even in the good moments the person you are grieving is always on your mind while you’re wishing they were there enjoying those moments with you. Although I’m trying really hard to keep going, not only because I know Preston would want to see his mama happy but also for Paisley who deserves a happy mama….but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have some really bad days. & I don’t think that will ever change for the rest of my life. It feels like I got a life sentence. For the rest of my life, I have to figure out how to keep going knowing my baby boy isn’t here with me. For the rest of my life I have to feel the pain of having him ripped away from me in the blink of an eye. Time passing does not make grief slowly feel better… especially when it was your own child you birthed. The world keeps moving as if nothing happened, but mine stopped the day I lost him. Somehow you’re expected to keep showing up, keep smiling, keep working, and keep living, all while carrying a pain that never leaves. People see the moments you laugh, but they don’t see that the ache is still there underneath it all. Grief doesn’t disappear….it becomes something you learn to carry. I’m not sure what it’s like to grieve just any loved one… but I know what it’s like to grieve your child. And it’s the worst imaginable pain and agony. There is no preparing for it, no words that can truly describe it, and no version of life where it ever feels okay. You don’t move on…you move forward while carrying a love that has nowhere to go. And if I have to carry this pain for the rest of my life, it’s only because my love for my son and my daughter will never end. #prestonforever #childloss #okaybaby

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