Ryan Allen
Region: US
Wednesday 24 March 2021 15:42:04 GMT
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user5354748270359 :
I usually agree but this time I don’t. Children need to learn to accept the answer no.
2021-03-24 17:52:02
445
mjwaston :
I agree with saying “no” to children but I believe they deserve an explanation as to why the answer is “no” and not “yes” this time.
2021-03-24 20:08:43
729
Ashley B :
“Yes, on your birthday. We will get a giant candle- whichever you want.”
2021-03-24 15:53:54
369
Robin :
Okay then what am I supposed to do when it’s actually a no? I’m not going to say yes to everything 😅
2021-03-24 17:52:17
8
Tik Toker :
not at someone else's birthday party though
2021-03-25 02:31:01
42
Alyssa Longmire :
Before you say no, think to yourself, why not?
2021-03-24 16:15:25
828
Trina :
Some of the moms here. 😳 What harm does blowing out a candle bring? If you are worried why not say “why don’t we try it together?”
2021-03-24 18:01:19
189
Doomsalt :
as someone who grew up with a brother who would throw tantrums because he didn't get presents on everyone's birthdays. I think it's okay to to say no.
2021-03-24 18:02:53
125
Itbewitchy :
“I would prefer if you didn’t blow out the candle because *insert reason here*. But when it’s time I’ll let you know and then you can”.
2021-03-24 16:21:57
119
Ryan Allen :
That last part was a mouthful 😂
2021-03-24 15:45:26
108
boymomlife_x2 :
How about “not this time but next time you can”
2021-03-24 15:52:14
75
they always say it wrong :
I worked with teens who never asked to get needs met bc the answer they got so often was “no” & so they didn’t see the point in asking.
2021-03-24 16:12:34
74
Aditya M :
life doesn't always say yes just cus u asked nicely. kids need to learn no means no and u getting to blow the candle takes fun from the bday boy.
2021-03-24 18:54:18
40
Xx :
anyone who grew up with siblings will tell you this is exactly the one place a parent needs to say no.
2021-03-25 00:23:24
34
Mona :
I disagree with you here, because there are some situations a positive opposite doesn't work. kids will need to learn no means no.
2021-03-24 16:15:16
34
Margaret Castillo :
Ok you lost me .They need to hear no . When they grow up their teachers , bosses and police WILL tell them no . Please help me understand.
2021-03-24 16:06:46
25
Karenheart44 :
Tone matters in cases like this. A harsh “NO” is detrimental, but “No kiddo, it’s your sisters bday today. Can’t wait for your bday!” works better.
2021-03-24 15:58:20
21
Andrea :
there is also a difference between a "no" because it's not safe, or something that's not appropriate for the moment and a "no" because I don't want to
2021-03-24 16:18:59
21
J. Jake :
If there is no reason for me to say "No", I say "Yes" to my children
2021-03-24 16:07:52
16
breecard :
Love this
2021-03-24 16:51:53
14
Ocean View :
This is normalizing letting them do what they want. I’ve seen the changes in children not ever being told no. You are part of a big problem.
2021-03-25 00:36:19
13
ElaineDarling :
It's not their birthday. them blowing out the candle may have consequences for the other kid. it's already though not being the baby anymore.
2021-03-24 16:43:23
12
Kenny 🍒 :
I love this. I hate when I fall into a pattern of telling my 2.5 y/o no all the time when sometimes it’s silly little things I can say yes to
2021-03-24 16:20:49
11
jillian :
I think it's okay to set the boundaries that sometimes it's not about them and focusing on the appropriate ways they can be involved
2021-03-24 18:55:27
9
Ingrid :
I would say no it’s not their special day. Everyone deserves a special day and momemnt (birthday).
2021-03-24 22:55:11
8
April - Trilingual Parenting :
I interpret “Saying yes appropriately” as setting boundaries and expectations!
2021-03-25 00:12:34
7
Mac :
Self regulation as in simply saying yes to every request leads to entitlement. No’s are needed.
2021-03-24 17:58:53
6
Paula 23 :
But kids need to know that no is no.
2021-03-24 16:40:07
5
Inesquecível :
What is the harm in getting a opportunity to blow a candle? Saying no just for the sake of it undermines the meaning of no
2021-03-24 16:29:01
5
. :
I was never told no and I grew up not really respecting authority... my kids are definitely going to be hearing that word quite a bit
2021-03-24 16:28:46
5
Paula :
I've learnt in my 20years of parenting that you need to pick your battles with kids, I'd have said yes to the candle 😬
2021-03-24 16:21:10
4
Plum :
No
2021-03-24 21:13:46
4
Smol Yeti :
I would say no bc I think it was a good moment to learn that some celebrations are focused on others and not always ourselves
2021-03-25 12:52:44
4
🖤 :
disagree. you can't always let your child get their way
2021-03-24 17:40:04
3
Augie Park :
Saying yes appropriately...That’s such a needed mindset. “Yes if...” vs “No because...” is important. Not only for kids but adults too!
2021-03-24 16:36:58
3
Conner Morschl :
I feel like yall forgetting about the child who's being overshadowed on his own birthday. It may not be a big deal to you but it's also not really 1/2
2021-04-13 00:27:54
3
Espooky Tales :
I agree. I truly don't understand the big deal in just letting them do it, it is just a candle. Kids hear no so much already, why does it matter.
2021-03-24 16:52:30
3
Jess :
I think normalizing YES has become a worse problem these days. Kids expect a yes for everything and don’t learn to deal with rejection/being told no.
2021-03-24 16:13:18
3
Sarah🌙 :
Thank you!!
2021-03-24 15:45:19
3
Austin Alvarez :
So still say no....? Got it
2021-03-25 00:34:11
3
AnnaKelly :
Saying no is completely fine. But the child has to understand why the answer is no so if you do not explain this is not your special day (1)
2021-03-24 17:53:00
2
soggy lipz :
uh no
2021-03-24 17:44:50
2
Jessica-Brady :
The adult world is going to hit them like a train if they have never been told “No”
2021-03-24 19:58:12
2
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