@officialcorimiles:

CoriMiles
CoriMiles
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Region: US
Tuesday 21 September 2021 16:39:17 GMT
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diwitter
Diana Witter :
My husband and I have decided we don't want to have kids... We just aren't sure who is going to tell them.
2021-09-21 19:00:29
768
wildlikeher2
Jenn :
“I’d walk through a Fire for my daughter. Well… maybe not a fire, but like a really humid room” -Ryan Reynolds
2021-09-22 00:34:02
231
zoei.renee
Zoei :
“I tell my kids the tv is charging when I turn it off”
2021-09-22 00:43:22
158
the_kaitchronicles
the_kaitchronicles :
I was at Kohls today and a kid was throwing a fit about returning something and the dad yells "I wish I could return you" 😂 I gave him the nod.
2021-09-22 03:24:04
146
kalithatgirl
Kelly Ann Carrillo :
Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.” —Ray Romano🤣
2021-09-21 20:55:27
136
firebudz
Hannah🌿🔥firebudz🔥🌿 :
Girl I hope you did not let these negative Nancy’s get to you!! Obviously you are a comedian and a great mother!!!❤️
2021-09-21 16:54:40
116
sierrajoanne95
Sierra Roeschlein :
Red Forman on that’s 70’s show: “If I was a bird, I’d fly into a ceiling fan.”
2021-09-21 17:29:02
114
kyleighmacyy
Kyleighmacy :
“No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.” -ryan Reynolds
2021-09-22 05:39:51
108
daniandi1083
Danielle :
I don’t have a joke from a comedian but I let my nephew play in a dog cage today because it kept him out of everything else #winning
2021-09-21 19:11:48
82
sallen12304
Shannon Allen :
If your kids don’t drive you crazy crazy it means you’re not spending enough time with them lol
2021-09-21 19:51:10
66
brit.r
Brittany :
Nothing better then spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter’s eyes, whispering “I can’t do this anymore” Ryan Reynolds
2021-09-23 00:02:29
60
kaylaengland27
user5182050736760 :
“Me and my husband have been married for 30 years because neither of us wanted to take the kids.” 😂
2021-09-24 12:37:34
51
sincerelyus
Shelby & John :
my dad use to say " i threw you in the river like all your other siblings your the only one who was smart enough to swim" im a only child 😂
2021-09-24 18:16:08
45
amandashippe
Amanda Shippe :
My parents loved to say, “we never have to worry about you being kidnapped.. they would instantly bring you back” 😂
2021-09-22 06:18:27
43
melissa_marie83
Mel :
@Katerina “I’m going to sprinkle a little melatonin in their spaghetti “ 😂
2021-09-25 12:36:08
41
melanie.ck_
Melanie Kielcz :
Everything Ali Wong has ever said about parenting.. ever lmao
2021-09-21 18:16:19
36
tatumnmaree
Tatumn Maree :
Son “Dad am I adopted?” Dad “No why would I pick you?”
2021-09-22 18:41:03
32
mmichaelides
Marilyn :
Mila and Ashton don’t bathe their kids till they see dirt present on them 😅😂
2021-09-21 17:31:22
31
agriesti01
Daniel Agriesti :
all of Kevin hart's stories about his son and daughter
2021-09-22 00:16:19
29
unicorny_mom
Christy Miller505 :
Saw my kid eating her boogers in the drop off line at preK. I tell her not to pick her nose & eat it. She dead*ss goes “but I’m huungry!!”
2021-09-21 16:52:01
26
lledawn
LeDawn :
I’m tired of babysitting my moms grandkids 😂😂😂😂 from me a mother of 2 😂😂
2021-09-22 12:05:55
19
lifewithlilyann
Lily :
“Kids who go to bed early wake up early. Kids who go to bed late, also wake up early.”
2021-09-22 00:31:18
18
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