@egaymedina:

Egay Medina

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Region: PH

Sunday 29 May 2022 07:53:47 GMT

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Jessie Sampayan368 :

nice konsi

2022-05-30 11:23:12

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I started therapy at 13 because my grandma passed and i went through sexual assault spending the night with a trusted adult who said it was only going to be femaled at the home but that was a lie. and as a child i surpressed the memory and it turned into nightmares of someone coming into my bed and touching me. My parents being worried about the impact my grandmas death caused started therapy thinking it was schizophrenia. Fast forward to when my dad passed away 3 years ago and the nightmares came back. I started therapy again. Because my protector was gone my memories flooded back and i asked another involved victim if my nightmares were real memories or just nightmares and they cried and said yes they thought i didnt remember and they also tried to forget. I cut off those who stood by and protected my assaulter as well as that assaulter. I also realized this is why i hate touch. This is why i panic every morning my husband comes home or leaves for work. This is why interaction is so hard for me. Slowly my silence is breaking. Because although i forgive what happened as a person. As a new mother, i can never forgive and i will protect my girl from going through what i did. 17 years of silence. 17 years of surpressed memories. 17 years of false protection and false love. 17 years of fear. 3 years of healing

I started therapy at 13 because my grandma passed and i went through sexual assault spending the night with a trusted adult who said it was only going to be femaled at the home but that was a lie. and as a child i surpressed the memory and it turned into nightmares of someone coming into my bed and touching me. My parents being worried about the impact my grandmas death caused started therapy thinking it was schizophrenia. Fast forward to when my dad passed away 3 years ago and the nightmares came back. I started therapy again. Because my protector was gone my memories flooded back and i asked another involved victim if my nightmares were real memories or just nightmares and they cried and said yes they thought i didnt remember and they also tried to forget. I cut off those who stood by and protected my assaulter as well as that assaulter. I also realized this is why i hate touch. This is why i panic every morning my husband comes home or leaves for work. This is why interaction is so hard for me. Slowly my silence is breaking. Because although i forgive what happened as a person. As a new mother, i can never forgive and i will protect my girl from going through what i did. 17 years of silence. 17 years of surpressed memories. 17 years of false protection and false love. 17 years of fear. 3 years of healing

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