Professor Neil
Region: CA
Sunday 29 May 2022 18:36:32 GMT
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Valkyrie Runes :
My only issue with the phrase is a lot of people use it for monetary excuses and not the emotional labor in relationships.
2022-05-29 19:13:21
533
thedugotti :
I think it's more applicable to more basic relationship things like "If he wanted to text you he would."
2022-05-29 19:31:37
37
Karlens Pierre :
In most instances when it’s used, the problem is the man (usually) isn’t tending to the woman’s (usually) very specific needs.
2022-05-29 19:52:49
44
Sorcha 🧛♀️📚🍉 :
Yes! This was my exact thought. I’m also not a fan of using neurodivergency as an excuse not to give emotional labour.
2022-05-29 18:43:11
77
BaldBeardedBookworm :
My biggest problem with ‘if he wanted to he would’ is that it’s inherently ableist in an underdiagnosed society
2022-05-29 19:06:07
12
hey8749 :
the use of emotional labor in relationship discourse is extremely caustic
2022-05-31 20:47:14
8
charo :
i still think its bad, if he wanted to i would also has a connotation of and if he doesnt its because hes unwilling to do the emotional labour
2022-06-19 13:51:05
4
Ty Cogdill :
i told a woman that paying for all of a date idea we had wasn’t in my budget as a grad student, and she hit me with this line. 😂
2022-06-23 21:26:15
3
Eliza Orlins :
I use it all the time. I like it. I think it applies well to making time for someone!! 😁
2022-05-30 00:20:58
83
Giselle without the G :
NEIL WANTED TO Y’ALL AND HE DID
2022-05-29 23:00:38
25
Ryan Williams :
In the past, he wanted to but negative responses to his emotional honesty taught him to be quiet.
2022-05-29 19:16:17
5
Rowbot Master :
can we also add "try" to the end? because you can never guarantee success
2022-05-30 11:36:02
16
Rebelle | Streamer & Cosplayer :
Wow her example was so shallow 😳 I usually use it when dudes don’t want to text first or take forever to respond
2022-05-29 21:48:30
26
MJ :
if she wanted she would too
2022-05-30 01:00:11
3
Ruatha Telgar :
Very well said.
2022-05-29 21:58:38
1
kaiatastrophe :
STRONG AGREE 🙌
2022-05-29 19:58:50
4
Lee :
As a disabled person, I’ve always had issues with this saying. Sometimes I really want to, but I am not physically able to..
2022-05-30 14:16:38
8
Booom Booom718 :
The sentence is too open ended to make sense.
2022-07-13 22:17:44
3
Viktor Skierus :
The problem I always have with the argument is the 'but how many times have you wanted to but didn't'
2022-07-05 17:04:10
5
Evan Nelsen816 :
I’m just going to say if people can’t use a saying properly it’s time to retire it.
2022-06-17 18:31:48
3
👈🏾👁👄👁👉🏾 :
every one of her takes is so obtuse
2022-06-07 04:22:30
1
✨I LOVE MY GF🫶🤗😍✨ :
IS THAT A BIOMECHANIC ARM SLEEVE LEME SEEEEEE
2024-10-08 09:17:03
0
Brina :
I struggle with it because of my own issues with executive dysfunction because of adhd its less "if I wanted to I would" and more I want to! (I can't)
2022-05-30 07:15:10
39
Amber :
Exactly. Like a lot that people learn online they divorce it from its original context/definition and apply it wherever they want (i.e. gaslighting).
2022-05-29 19:03:48
32
Chelsea 🇨🇦 :
thank you! because I absolutely love that phrase but yes has to be used in the correct context
2022-05-29 23:59:31
14
user849709427525 :
the problem is that it's a blanket statement that can literally be used for anything and not what you think it should be used for
2022-05-30 08:50:07
11
Beneath The Gilded Moon :
I often see it used in situations where there's no reason "he" would even think to do the thing bc there's been no communication about it
2022-07-18 22:32:40
6
Eloise :
same with money, my boyfriend wants to buy me all the presents but he can't afford it! he shows his love in other ways tho haha
2022-05-29 19:08:19
4
georgewbooth :
in order for some people to stop misusing phrases, they'd almost have to stop using them entirely.
2022-06-01 02:27:01
3
Daniel/Lora :
I've honestly never once seen that phrased used for emotions, it's always been about material desires. I. vactions, pricey dinner, jewlery
2022-06-04 02:46:25
3
Just a Muffin :
certain people will not think of certain things so they wont do them out of lack of realization rather than lack of care
2022-06-18 18:54:28
3
Shaub :
I disagree, simply because social anxiety exists, and is rampant. Reducing someone's motive down to if they action it out, seriously lacks empathy.
2022-06-15 15:54:11
3
Adam_Portrais :
Ladies, NEVER trust a man who uses the phrase “Emotional Labor.” Biggest 🚩ever. You will never “win” an argument with this man.
2022-06-19 08:00:53
2
CaptainBlork :
the caveats abound
2022-05-29 21:21:25
2
norwaypete :
I mean I know for early stages it's also a I'm not an attractive guy I know alot of what I would do would be creepy because I am not pretty.
2022-05-30 04:24:00
2
Mat Couthon :
Late so nobody will see this but emotional labor is specifically for a job, not a relationship!
2022-06-14 05:28:29
2
The Hot Mess :
Ok but he did, failed but he tried. He wanted to so he did. 🤔
2022-06-01 06:33:29
2
nickboylan468 :
Right, this doesn’t apply to something a person is physically incapable of doing lol
2022-06-13 15:43:51
2
Kaktus :
people forget that If YOU wanted to, you would
2022-06-12 10:26:40
2
Kate :
Yeah. I use this when people ask why I left my ex. If he wanted to spend time with me, he would have.
2022-06-04 16:49:06
2
Rohlen Thunda :
Not everyone has the same capacity for performing emotional labor.
2022-06-09 13:26:10
2
👴🏽 :
will pay a million dollars to the person who can teach the internet to use “emotional labor” correctly
2022-06-06 07:42:59
2
jank :
Emotional labour does not mean emotional effort it’s a different specific thing
2022-08-26 10:18:26
1
lemon_party6969 :
The solution is nonviolent communication
2022-05-29 22:19:19
1
Namjoons naughty neurons :
It's about putting in effort, not about specific outcomes...right?😅
2022-05-31 12:27:52
1
Michelle Ryan :
I told my husband, then boyfriend, that I found his excessive porn use toxic and I would not have it in my relationship. I told him the choice was
2022-06-04 18:03:20
1
I just wanted loyalty and love :
soo true
2022-06-11 18:23:39
1
Rachel Overvoll :
YES!
2022-05-31 18:01:35
1
user466006823857 :
Aphorism..learned a new word today. Thank you for that. You point is also exceptionally valid but also yay for new words!
2022-06-12 18:25:01
1
Çaden :
Agreed. Motivation does not equal ability. I’m sure my dad wanted to be a good dad but had his own demons to battle too…
2022-06-01 21:47:02
1
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