@mortalitas:

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Thursday 27 October 2022 23:11:08 GMT
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bum.nuggler
Bum Nuggler :
This needs an extra second or two where your face keeps contorting and gets even more exagerrated.
2022-10-31 08:58:20
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andrew_isnt_there
Andrew :
Hola
2022-10-27 23:34:58
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ethereal_182
David :
Bro is ethereal
2022-10-27 23:39:34
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After I made this video I realized it had been 9 years after he passed and not 10. I had been building it up so much in my head that I completely lost track of time.  Losing my brother early was so hard for my family. I remember his smile, laugh, so many little things about him. The tough part is forgetting though. Sometimes I’ll try to recall his laugh and the memory comes up blank. It makes me tear just thinking about it. You never think someone in your immediate family is going to pass away, and when they do, you realize tragedy is a very real thing, and that we’re not invisible. My sister texted me yesterday morning and said “last day with Alex, what would you do?”, it completely broke me down. I called her to tell her I was crying and she apologized, but truth is she shouldn’t have. I appreciate the fact we can talk about him to this day and make his memory live on. I’m 23 years old right now, next year I’ll be 24 which is the age he passed away at. You never think you’ll be older than your oldest brother - I must admit I’m dreading my next birthday. I feel so young and to think he only go to this age in life is heartbreaking. Alex is literally a genius. He knew a little about a lot and always knew the answer to a math problem. His laugh is extremely contagious, kinda like a low groan that continues on for a few seconds. He loved my sister’s cooking, he was warm, his smile is literally the best thing ever. If you’ve noticed I keep going from past to present tense with the words “was” and “is”. I’ve always struggled speaking about my brother in the past tense. To think I’ll never have a new memory with him is heart breaking. The last day at Jamba Juice was an amazing day, he came out purely because I asked him too even though he felt like crap.  I get comments asking why I smile on my posts when I speak about difficult topics, the answer is it’s my job. I try to put a positive spin on everything because my goal is to entertain, inspire, and make you guys happy. The truth is I’m not okay today, or yesterday, probably not tomorrow either. I cry for hours everyday whenever September comes around. My honest thoughts are this wasn’t fair at all and he deserved so much more time with us. I deserved it, my family did. What happened is so cruel.  The point I’m trying to make is it’s okay to not be okay, just like I am right now. Writing this caption, the blanket below me is soaked with tears. I love and miss my brother so much. I will be going through my day with a fake smile and fake positivity, and that’s okay.
After I made this video I realized it had been 9 years after he passed and not 10. I had been building it up so much in my head that I completely lost track of time. Losing my brother early was so hard for my family. I remember his smile, laugh, so many little things about him. The tough part is forgetting though. Sometimes I’ll try to recall his laugh and the memory comes up blank. It makes me tear just thinking about it. You never think someone in your immediate family is going to pass away, and when they do, you realize tragedy is a very real thing, and that we’re not invisible. My sister texted me yesterday morning and said “last day with Alex, what would you do?”, it completely broke me down. I called her to tell her I was crying and she apologized, but truth is she shouldn’t have. I appreciate the fact we can talk about him to this day and make his memory live on. I’m 23 years old right now, next year I’ll be 24 which is the age he passed away at. You never think you’ll be older than your oldest brother - I must admit I’m dreading my next birthday. I feel so young and to think he only go to this age in life is heartbreaking. Alex is literally a genius. He knew a little about a lot and always knew the answer to a math problem. His laugh is extremely contagious, kinda like a low groan that continues on for a few seconds. He loved my sister’s cooking, he was warm, his smile is literally the best thing ever. If you’ve noticed I keep going from past to present tense with the words “was” and “is”. I’ve always struggled speaking about my brother in the past tense. To think I’ll never have a new memory with him is heart breaking. The last day at Jamba Juice was an amazing day, he came out purely because I asked him too even though he felt like crap. I get comments asking why I smile on my posts when I speak about difficult topics, the answer is it’s my job. I try to put a positive spin on everything because my goal is to entertain, inspire, and make you guys happy. The truth is I’m not okay today, or yesterday, probably not tomorrow either. I cry for hours everyday whenever September comes around. My honest thoughts are this wasn’t fair at all and he deserved so much more time with us. I deserved it, my family did. What happened is so cruel. The point I’m trying to make is it’s okay to not be okay, just like I am right now. Writing this caption, the blanket below me is soaked with tears. I love and miss my brother so much. I will be going through my day with a fake smile and fake positivity, and that’s okay.

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