@drewwdaniels: How do you love an avoidant partner who shuts down every love offering? #avoidantattachment #relationshipadvice #relationshiptherapy #anxiousattachment

Drew Daniels
Drew Daniels
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Region: US
Monday 03 April 2023 18:48:44 GMT
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drewwdaniels
Drew Daniels :
It’s easy to “avoidant shame”. There’s some hypocrisy in all of us. There is a deeper childhood feeling of never having safe people to show up fr them
2023-04-03 18:50:57
100
jtok30
Jacob :
Simple, don’t love them to begin with. It’s always on their terms and that’s not love.
2023-04-04 04:39:35
12
mooncake660
Amaira ✨ :
I really really understand the point of your video but please to people seeing this— make sure that your avoidant partner is at least willing to+
2023-04-04 08:27:18
1
yudja
Yudja :
As a therapist with a disorganised attachment style, although now much more secure, I completely agree.
2023-04-04 17:25:29
3
kyeon12_
NoName :
can you please tell us more about it?? cuz my partner got avoidant attachment style and i want to learn to know him better
2023-04-04 00:39:52
3
lovey111444
Lovey :
Just broke up with my disorganized avoidant. Truth is nothing u do will get to them bc they are extremely selfish lovers and it's simply not worth it.
2023-04-09 19:32:47
2
jaredjacobs9
Jared Jacobs :
the answer is, you leave them and stop dating ppl who aren't working on some type of healing journey for themselves
2023-04-05 12:37:18
191
the_jackson_pierre
Jackson Pierre :
Sounds like they just want to receive and not put in the work on themselves first before getting into a relationship
2023-04-05 14:56:24
129
roseadrriana
Adriana Mora :
So basically they need a mom?
2023-04-05 17:23:56
63
mslizzybean
mslizzybean :
My bf is avoidant leaning and we just had our first emotionally vulnerable conversation yesterday. I’m an anxious leaning. This was right on time. 🙏
2023-04-04 02:30:58
52
bakjoul
Joul' :
it seems it's all about them and not about the relationship.
2023-04-04 07:29:22
47
theoriginalladyra
Lady Ra :
it didn't work and I'm tired of being the stronger one ALL THE TIME
2023-04-04 05:18:22
37
cesdaworld
Cesdaworld :
So how do you investigate that without them shutting down?
2023-04-04 09:07:53
36
cantbreakmystride
🧤👂🏼HEAR TRUTH🧤👂🏼 :
But when the avoidant is the man that sets up the wrong balance in masculine/feminine. A woman will nurture her man but not if she’s neglected
2023-04-03 20:06:25
26
therealelliesays
therealelliesays :
A simple thing I do is that I’m the big spoon, every night. He’s a big bear of a man & I make a joke about me taking care of him, but it works
2023-04-03 22:14:37
90
vansthotcatalog
Vanity 🤪 :
I gave that man the world and nothing was good enough. And what did I get? Mental health issues, debt, left homeless, sad and lonely
2023-04-04 13:16:10
16
irelevantno1710
Irelevantno :
Dating an avoidant, he was my friend for 10 years before that, long distance thing. Let me tell u, I have tried everything but he literally go ghost>
2023-04-03 21:45:45
14
haunteddxll
🦇HauntedDxll!🪦 :
I’m anxious but being ignore caused me to walk away! We too old for this!
2023-04-06 14:49:16
13
kirgoh
kez :
I've only ever dated avoidant guys, and they want a girl who is self fulfilling and independent to them. The problem is, that often means she has to
2023-04-05 08:06:04
11
kaylawimmer
Kayla Wimmer :
So if trying to be supportive and hear what’s going on is interpreted as making it about you what’re you supposed to do
2023-04-06 04:01:09
8
becca.bee.113
Becca :
This 🥺 thank you for expressing and addressing this. So much hate and animosity shown towards avoidants on this app which makes me feel even worse
2023-04-04 02:42:03
6
nattibo84
Nattibo84 :
Sounds like avoidants should seek out securely attached people and avoid anxiously attached partners. Also therapy.
2023-04-04 18:45:07
5
_undomiel
Manders :
Ummm yeah I held it together and stoically comforted my FA partner when he presented as anxious and afraid of abandonment. (1)
2023-04-04 02:06:30
5
missmeelz
missmeelz :
Is it fair that an avoidant partner will RUN from the anxious partners chaos, but needs the anxious person to investigate theirs??
2023-04-14 18:35:42
4
everenees
QueenEve :
I still don't know the how
2023-04-04 04:28:59
4
not_thegrinch_
Grinch :
Some ppl just dont understand what it took to break/mold a person like that
2023-04-06 15:56:49
4
_ambr___
Dawn ☀️ :
Ok, but this is only possible if the avoidant is enough self aware to talk it out. Even though I asked, my ex never explained that to me. I went to
2023-04-04 10:37:39
4
dhwanisutariya
dhwani :
Wow…I really loved that my ex was “bigger” and “stronger” and didn’t know why but I know now and just hearing some1 else say it honestly feels nice :)
2023-04-05 02:44:35
4
lydiasmith539
Lydia Smith :
Date a secure or better yet go to more therapy to become secure
2023-04-05 02:25:36
3
bobimamma
Ässä Koo203 :
So they need a mum but don't want a mum
2023-04-08 09:02:38
3
chaos_tm
Chaos_tm :
Confusing as fuck. I tried that though, and I was told to literally not care so much and got silent treatment for a few hours
2023-04-07 14:25:30
3
fromdheart
La Lunita :
How about they just go to therapy?
2023-04-05 11:31:19
3
winseykins
winseykins :
what can you do for them when they won't have an emotional conversation after conflict for weeks? just sit stagnant? he says it isn't fair everytime🥲
2023-04-04 02:08:20
3
rachaels.shadowwork
Rachael | Shadow Work Coaching :
POIGNANT per ushe 👏
2023-04-03 18:58:46
3
piel.arbi54
Pau Briones (Σ) :
Sounds selfish…
2023-04-05 08:18:45
2
spacegh0stx
spaceghost :
so what do i do when they pull away?
2023-04-08 02:26:49
2
angel.411.1
Angelica2020 :
And how selfish is that?! You won’t ever give enough to an unhealed avoidant.
2023-04-06 01:11:17
2
thecomebackdad
TRON🎣🇺🇸💯 :
What do u do when u express something deep to them and they just disappear then come back later and change the subject like it never was said ?
2023-04-05 01:23:32
2
cristina_gia
Cristina :
So it’s like handling a toddler and not having a relationship with a mature person. Avoidants need to go to therapy
2023-04-04 22:09:59
2
green.hearth.glass
Green Hearth Glass :
I don’t know the difference between avoidant who needs love or abusive to run away from 🫠
2023-04-04 21:47:58
2
tracimichael
Traci Michael :
I love this perspective. And I think you can do this from a feminine energy.
2023-04-04 21:35:26
2
casi_dii
Pickledpiperpickedapaperpeper :
triple it and give it to the next person please
2023-04-07 05:40:24
2
karlfranzhammer
karl :
I'd encourage folks to ignore this advice and go to therapy instead. this is nonsense
2023-04-05 19:14:46
2
aspenkatana
aspen katana :
You don’t 🫶🏼
2023-04-06 00:44:51
2
laizboiii
sh :
(they want someone) “to investigate and nuture their chaos that they are too afraid to bring forward”…spitting big facts
2023-04-04 18:49:30
2
arcaneviolyn
Vi :
how to do that?
2023-04-09 18:58:26
2
kkaminarrri
🌼chamomile🌼 :
Fearful avoidant here and I don’t understand how you guys have a relationship being avoidant 😭
2023-04-10 08:03:39
2
sweetncynical
˚₊✩‧₊(⌯͒o̶̶̷̤ ꀾ o̴̶̷̤⌯͒)* ✩‧₊˚ :
lol that didn’t work
2023-04-09 16:31:15
2
pippiart
Pippi :
"investigate and nurture their chaos" yes yes yes with the added reassurance of stability, ie "I won't let it hurt me".
2023-04-04 14:32:44
2
doctor_oat
หมอโอ๊ต หมอนอกเวลา :
How do you love an avoidant partner.... YOU DON'T.
2023-04-11 01:52:41
2
sprinklesprinklessss
💸🛍️🎀💕🧞‍♀️ :
Nope had this type of partner and I will never again. I think they just need to mature on their own naturally
2023-04-08 14:30:34
2
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