@eugenialillocalabrano:

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Sunday 09 April 2023 14:39:12 GMT
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“Breaking Up with a ‘Broken Woman’—What It Really Means” Alright, let’s talk about something real—Broken Woman Syndrome. Maybe you’ve never heard the term, but I guarantee you’ve felt it if you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who carries deep emotional wounds. See, a “broken woman” isn’t just someone who’s been through hard times—we all go through pain. This is deeper. This is someone who hasn’t healed. Someone who moves through relationships carrying unprocessed trauma, self-worth struggles, and a subconscious fear of abandonment. And if you’ve just gone through a breakup with someone like this, you’re probably feeling a lot of things: Confused. Drained. Maybe even guilty, like you failed them somehow. Because let’s be honest—loving a broken woman can feel like trying to pour water into a cup with cracks. No matter how much love, patience, or reassurance you gave, it never seemed to be enough. Why? Because their battle was never about you. Psychologists call this attachment wounding (Bowlby, 1969). When someone grows up experiencing neglect, betrayal, or instability, their nervous system gets wired to expect pain. To expect abandonment. So even when love is present, they can’t fully trust it. Instead, they push, pull, sabotage—because deep down, they don’t believe in “forever.” And that’s why your relationship felt like an emotional rollercoaster. One minute, they needed you like air. The next? They pulled away, shut down, or picked fights over things that didn’t even make sense. Because for someone with deep wounds, stability feels foreign. And sometimes? Even threatening. So now that it’s over, you might be wondering: • Could I have saved them? • Did I do something wrong? • Why do I still feel so emotionally tied to them? Here’s the truth: You cannot fix what someone refuses to heal. No amount of love can override unaddressed trauma. And staying in a relationship that drains you—while hoping they’ll change—isn’t noble. It’s self-abandonment. So what do you do now? 1. Release the Guilt You were not their healer. That’s their job. Love should support growth, but it shouldn’t be the thing holding someone together. If they weren’t ready to receive healthy love, that’s not a reflection of your worth. 2. Recognize the Trauma Bond If the relationship felt addictive, like you were always chasing their approval, you may have been caught in a trauma bond (Carnes, 2019). These bonds make you mistake intensity for love. The solution? Detach from the highs and lows and focus on stability—within yourself. 3. Protect Your Energy Moving Forward Next time, choose reciprocity over rescue. Love isn’t about proving yourself to someone who doubts their own worth. It’s about two whole people coming together—not one person constantly trying to patch the other’s wounds. Loving a “broken woman” doesn’t make you weak. It means you have a big heart. But walking away when the relationship starts breaking you? That’s strength. Because real love isn’t about saving someone from their past. It’s about building a future—together. And if they weren’t ready for that? Let them go. So you can be free to find someone who is. Remember, the higher you climb, the better the view. Let me encourage you to climb higher because you deserve to be happy.  #selfrespect #BreakupWisdom #KnowYourWorth #brokenwoman #toxic
“Breaking Up with a ‘Broken Woman’—What It Really Means” Alright, let’s talk about something real—Broken Woman Syndrome. Maybe you’ve never heard the term, but I guarantee you’ve felt it if you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who carries deep emotional wounds. See, a “broken woman” isn’t just someone who’s been through hard times—we all go through pain. This is deeper. This is someone who hasn’t healed. Someone who moves through relationships carrying unprocessed trauma, self-worth struggles, and a subconscious fear of abandonment. And if you’ve just gone through a breakup with someone like this, you’re probably feeling a lot of things: Confused. Drained. Maybe even guilty, like you failed them somehow. Because let’s be honest—loving a broken woman can feel like trying to pour water into a cup with cracks. No matter how much love, patience, or reassurance you gave, it never seemed to be enough. Why? Because their battle was never about you. Psychologists call this attachment wounding (Bowlby, 1969). When someone grows up experiencing neglect, betrayal, or instability, their nervous system gets wired to expect pain. To expect abandonment. So even when love is present, they can’t fully trust it. Instead, they push, pull, sabotage—because deep down, they don’t believe in “forever.” And that’s why your relationship felt like an emotional rollercoaster. One minute, they needed you like air. The next? They pulled away, shut down, or picked fights over things that didn’t even make sense. Because for someone with deep wounds, stability feels foreign. And sometimes? Even threatening. So now that it’s over, you might be wondering: • Could I have saved them? • Did I do something wrong? • Why do I still feel so emotionally tied to them? Here’s the truth: You cannot fix what someone refuses to heal. No amount of love can override unaddressed trauma. And staying in a relationship that drains you—while hoping they’ll change—isn’t noble. It’s self-abandonment. So what do you do now? 1. Release the Guilt You were not their healer. That’s their job. Love should support growth, but it shouldn’t be the thing holding someone together. If they weren’t ready to receive healthy love, that’s not a reflection of your worth. 2. Recognize the Trauma Bond If the relationship felt addictive, like you were always chasing their approval, you may have been caught in a trauma bond (Carnes, 2019). These bonds make you mistake intensity for love. The solution? Detach from the highs and lows and focus on stability—within yourself. 3. Protect Your Energy Moving Forward Next time, choose reciprocity over rescue. Love isn’t about proving yourself to someone who doubts their own worth. It’s about two whole people coming together—not one person constantly trying to patch the other’s wounds. Loving a “broken woman” doesn’t make you weak. It means you have a big heart. But walking away when the relationship starts breaking you? That’s strength. Because real love isn’t about saving someone from their past. It’s about building a future—together. And if they weren’t ready for that? Let them go. So you can be free to find someone who is. Remember, the higher you climb, the better the view. Let me encourage you to climb higher because you deserve to be happy. #selfrespect #BreakupWisdom #KnowYourWorth #brokenwoman #toxic

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