@dejashu: When I was 12, I hated being Chinese. I hated my seemingly hard to pronounce ethnic name, the pause by teachers as they attempted to pronounce Shu-Shi, the kids who’d go “where’s the other shoe?” as they pointed at their feet or “ew, your name means raw fish?” as they’d pinch at their nose. I hated having to translate every letter from the solicitors, tracing every term and condition panicking I’d mess up our family business if I interpreted it wrong. I recently watched the film Past Lives, a romantic drama about two childhood friends reconnecting for the first time in two decades, after the lead character Nora emigrated from South Korea when she was 12. Written and directed by Celine Song, it’s a poignant film, a bittersweet exploration on identity, loss, immigration, love and the passing of time. By the end, I was in tears, left pondering my own alternate timelines. What if I wasn’t born in England? What if my parents decided against immigrating here and stayed in China? What if I grew up as part of the majority than the minority? And why do I feel even more disconnected by that thought than comforted? As a kid, I rejected big parts of myself to feel more whole. But like Nora, 2 decades on, I’ve found closure in who I am and the little girl that existed then no longer holds truth to the woman I’ve become now. These reflective posts have always, first and foremost, been letters addressed to my younger self now I’m nearly 20 years her senior — because the acceptance, pride and love I feel for who I am now, was unthinkable for a child who hated the very essence of what she represented. At the beginning of the film, Nora’s mum muses “if you leave something behind, you gain something too.” And it’s true, a part of life always has to end in order for another part to begin. After a long time, I realised that everything I ever thought I needed has always been within me. Past Lives will be released in UK cinemas from September 7th ♥️ @studiocanaluk @milkteafilms #england #cantonese #chinese #british #identity #britishbornchinese #britishenglish #asianpride #subtleasiantraits #aapi #asianamerican #growingupasian #pastlivesmovie #growingupasian #asian #pastlives #pastlivesedit

Shu Lin

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Region: GB

Wednesday 06 September 2023 09:53:30 GMT