Steph | Attachment Specialist
Region: US
Thursday 07 September 2023 02:11:11 GMT
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Maven09 :
Also when you have ADHD and rejection sensitivity, a feeling of someone being unhappy with you or rejecting you make you want to die w/ pain!
2023-09-08 00:52:10
95
user8514973468367 :
My mom is very reactive and shameful/ashamed, I will end the conversation when she does this.
2023-09-07 03:13:08
193
AQueefInTheWind :
I always get “Sorry I can’t be perfect like you! We can’t all be soooo perfect”
2023-09-10 01:30:37
64
Herbie Hancock :
Could you talk about a good way to apologize to your adult child for parenting badly when they were young? I don't want to make excuses
2023-09-07 07:03:38
7
Sunni_daze 🍉 :
My mother expresses no shame. She just reiterates that she did the best she could w/ what she had & expects me to accept her behaviors.
2023-09-12 04:13:29
26
Victoria Dorsano :
I so badly want to affirm my mom that she was a good person who made mistakes when she has agitated shame, but wouldn’t that be me trying 2 parent her
2023-09-07 14:24:19
4
Lovely Lady Loops :
Ugh I notice this “collapsed shame” behavior with my 8yr daughter when she gets into trouble. I need help connecting with her when she’s in that place
2023-09-07 17:56:43
10
Nik Frumkin | Mountain Artist :
What is it when they stop speaking to you rather than face the feelings/shame?
2023-09-07 05:43:20
3
SnapesAngel20 :
My moms favorite. I cant even deal anymore
2023-09-07 02:18:39
3
Ellie Prusinski :
my mom's way of apologizing is "I am sorry you feel that way". Definitely not an apology 😕
2023-09-18 18:49:31
5
Duckie 🇨🇦 :
literally me and my husband to each other right now. we worked this out in counseling LAST NIGHT! shame is sucha fearful emotion I didn't even realize
2023-09-12 15:56:44
4
Rivienn :
my mom has definitely done the second version to my sister and I many times 😔
2023-09-09 03:12:56
3
Pioneer Valley Witch :
anytime my mom brings up an event she recalls fondly but I had a different experience, shes like "wow dont u have any good memories??"
2023-09-07 14:11:34
3
BigNope(Bisan’s Version) :
Bc my parents couldn’t figure this out, we’ve been no contact for 6 years now and they aren’t apologetic for how they’ve hurt me at all. Just that the
2023-09-07 03:04:47
4
Hawk :
Any tips on what to do if you become nonverbal from collapsed shame to get to a point that is helpful to the relationship?
2023-09-07 03:13:32
3
Krystal Rose :
My mother and I have difficulties where she lashes out in anger bcause i dont always take her side..then i avoid dealing with her....and it repeats.
2023-09-11 05:03:50
2
Johanna🔻 :
I want to talk to my mom, but I’m afraid of her reaction. It’s painful because I know she has self-hatred and shame. So we drift further apart. 😥😭
2023-09-12 20:47:04
3
Rhiannon Edwards :
Mine does the agitated and I feel like its to try to make me feel guilty so I drop the issue and I end up apologizing. I hate it.
2023-09-11 17:41:04
2
user7821968086497 :
Grew up with my mom having collapsed shame and my ex with agitated shame. I can handle the first better, the second I collapse
2023-09-08 04:08:31
2
l.p986 :
My mum does this all…the…time. “Ohh I’m SORRY I was sooooo terrible, you turned out ok so it can’t have been THAT bad” urghh
2023-09-17 19:22:10
3
🌙🌙 :
Wow, collapsed shame is eye opening. I always felt like I needed to console my mom after her self-loathing. It instilled constant guilt.
2023-09-14 03:26:54
4
Emmy2Sticks ✨️🇨🇦 :
1/2 I feel like whenever my mom says this (it's her go to response for anything that I talk about in regards to something that may have hurt me in
2023-09-07 17:16:27
2
user3120611057219 :
So what do you say when they say this? Because I never know and just get frustrated back
2023-09-18 17:02:52
3
The Leviathan Hatchery :
mine always used to distance herself from the issue saying that my hurt feelings were an issue with me; ie I was "entitled" or "sensitive".
2023-09-10 18:14:25
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