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Tuesday 10 October 2023 00:53:02 GMT

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Turns out there's a pattern to friendship . I thought long and hard about every adult friendship I’ve made and realized there’s a pattern. I’ve organized it into 10 steps to help people who are yearning for adult friendships but don’t know where to start. If you're unwilling to be a villager, you can't expect a village. Friendships don’t just miraculously appear in our living rooms (unfortunately...wouldn’t that be nice?). Now that we’re adults with limited time, we have to be intentional about building friendships. As kids, we made friends through repetitive proximity: school, Girl Scouts, sports teams, etc. But as adults, if we’re struggling to make friends, we have to put ourselves back in those situations. That includes online communities if getting out isn’t an option! And if repetitive proximity is not possible, we need to be willing to move faster and trade numbers immediately when we meet someone we want to befriend. I know this is easier said than done. It’s easier for extroverts than introverts. It’s easier for people without social anxiety than for those who have it. But if we want friends, we have to talk to people. And for some, that will be harder than for others. I compare it to running. If I wanted to be a runner, I’d have to run. I’d have to buy the right shoes, put in the time, and push through obstacles. I’m genetically at a disadvantage for running. As a mom, I have a time disadvantage. Missouri winters are a weather disadvantage. Plus, good running gear in my size costs money. But if my goal were to be a runner (it’s not, just an example. although perhaps it should be!), I’d have to find a way to run. It might look different for me than for others, and it might be harder or take longer, but I’d still have to run. The same goes for making friends. You might have more obstacles. Your approach might look different. Your friendships might not follow a traditional path. But at the end of the day, you have to talk to people. And this is my 10-step plan for how I do that! What else would help you on your path to find friendships? What would you like to see a video about? . . . . #kelsewhatelse #adultfriendships #buildyourvillage

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