@coffeefilmz: Confidently mistaken. When I meet anyone or when I walk into any room, I immediately feel this desire to apologize for myself. I always feel like I’m carrying a burden on other peoples consciousness when they are around me. Eye contact feels borderline impossible, and I try my best to minimize myself in any group setting. Then, a strange juxtaposing feeling takes over my ego and I feel like I need to somehow win over everyone in the room. I’ll catch myself performing micro mimics to everyone I meet. By the end of it all, I’m a mess and people aren’t really sure who I am or what just happened. Quick way to become not so impressionable and a recipe for thinking about every interaction you’ve had and what those around you must have thought all night. If you catch me looking like a jerk, it’s because I am not sure what you are expecting me to be. I wish I could remember what it feels like to have confidence in who I am, or what I am. Maybe that’s why I make these little corny goofy videos. They feel like I can be just whatever it is I feel I can be.

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Thursday 09 November 2023 21:15:20 GMT