@re.spotify: Lova-jul🩵 #song #spotify #paroles #speedsongs #jul

〽️ohamed
〽️ohamed
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Saturday 11 November 2023 14:57:02 GMT
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At 38 I was fully functional. Professionally successful. Managing everything. Available to everyone. And had no desire for anything. Not for my body. Not for pleasure. Not for anything outside the next obligation. I called it being busy. I called it priorities. I told myself it would come back when things settled down. Things didn't settle down. I just got used to operating without it. Which is how you stop noticing something is missing — not because it returns, but because the absence becomes the baseline. Here's what I didn't understand then: Desire requires a nervous system that isn't in survival mode. A body that isn't running on cortisol at 11 PM and adrenaline at 7 AM. A woman who isn't so occupied with being useful that she's forgotten what she actually wants. I wasn't aging. I was disappearing. Running a body I had trained for years to treat its own needs as the lowest priority on the list. Those look identical from the outside. Different cause. Different solution. Every conversation I heard about
At 38 I was fully functional. Professionally successful. Managing everything. Available to everyone. And had no desire for anything. Not for my body. Not for pleasure. Not for anything outside the next obligation. I called it being busy. I called it priorities. I told myself it would come back when things settled down. Things didn't settle down. I just got used to operating without it. Which is how you stop noticing something is missing — not because it returns, but because the absence becomes the baseline. Here's what I didn't understand then: Desire requires a nervous system that isn't in survival mode. A body that isn't running on cortisol at 11 PM and adrenaline at 7 AM. A woman who isn't so occupied with being useful that she's forgotten what she actually wants. I wasn't aging. I was disappearing. Running a body I had trained for years to treat its own needs as the lowest priority on the list. Those look identical from the outside. Different cause. Different solution. Every conversation I heard about "libido declining with age" described exactly what I was experiencing. And got the cause wrong. It wasn't my age. It was my baseline state — and how long I'd been running it without stopping to ask what that was costing. … The body treats desire as a non-essential function. When the system reads chronic stress, it routes resources toward threat management: cortisol, vigilance, output. Desire is the first to go. Sleep quality follows. Then energy. Then the capacity to feel pleasure in anything at all. This is not aging. It's triage. The body will restore what it deprioritized — when it stops reading the environment as an emergency. At 45, I want more than I did at 38. Not because time passed. Because the emergency finally ended.

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