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Tuesday 14 November 2023 13:05:49 GMT

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Since becoming a mother at 22, I feel like I’ve gone through so many seasons. The first season was with Jake – I was young, navigating becoming a caregiver and wife – physically, mentally, and emotionally – while still growing up and figuring out my own identity. I was fully in survival mode just trying to fit into what I thought “motherhood” supposed to look like based on what I saw other people doing. I honestly can’t say I remember much of those days. The second season was with Ben – I was 23, I felt a bit steadier, had a little more experience, and was just starting my self-discovery journey. I loved being present for my 2 little boys. Life was simple but, as time went on, my attention started shifting towards what I wanted to do with my life outside of motherhood. I had that nagging feeling of “there’s gotta be more” and I began focusing on my professional development and interests. Mom guilt started peeking in. The third season was with Maximus – I was 28, had a business, and a team that relied on me, and I was fully in a phase of feeling like I had to prove myself day in and day out. I dove back into work right after coming home from the hospital. I operated on zero sleep, a lot of guilt, and an endless amount of ambition and discipline…needless to say, I crashed. I remember fragments of those early days and I remember feeling like I’d have regrets dedicating this much time and effort into work and not my newborn. And I did – for a while. And now we’re here in what I see as my fourth season. I’m a mother of a 10, 8, and 4-year-old, navigating from a place of experience, lessons, compassion to myself. I call this season: Gentle Motherhood. I’m soaking up the slow and the fast, the bad and the good. No longer chasing abstract definitions of what motherhood needs to look like and fully savouring what is and what it feels like for ME. I don’t think I’ve ever been as present or content with motherhood as I am today – I hope to stay here for a while ❤️ #boymom #motherhood #momtok

Since becoming a mother at 22, I feel like I’ve gone through so many seasons. The first season was with Jake – I was young, navigating becoming a caregiver and wife – physically, mentally, and emotionally – while still growing up and figuring out my own identity. I was fully in survival mode just trying to fit into what I thought “motherhood” supposed to look like based on what I saw other people doing. I honestly can’t say I remember much of those days. The second season was with Ben – I was 23, I felt a bit steadier, had a little more experience, and was just starting my self-discovery journey. I loved being present for my 2 little boys. Life was simple but, as time went on, my attention started shifting towards what I wanted to do with my life outside of motherhood. I had that nagging feeling of “there’s gotta be more” and I began focusing on my professional development and interests. Mom guilt started peeking in. The third season was with Maximus – I was 28, had a business, and a team that relied on me, and I was fully in a phase of feeling like I had to prove myself day in and day out. I dove back into work right after coming home from the hospital. I operated on zero sleep, a lot of guilt, and an endless amount of ambition and discipline…needless to say, I crashed. I remember fragments of those early days and I remember feeling like I’d have regrets dedicating this much time and effort into work and not my newborn. And I did – for a while. And now we’re here in what I see as my fourth season. I’m a mother of a 10, 8, and 4-year-old, navigating from a place of experience, lessons, compassion to myself. I call this season: Gentle Motherhood. I’m soaking up the slow and the fast, the bad and the good. No longer chasing abstract definitions of what motherhood needs to look like and fully savouring what is and what it feels like for ME. I don’t think I’ve ever been as present or content with motherhood as I am today – I hope to stay here for a while ❤️ #boymom #motherhood #momtok

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