@journeyofanhonestmum: HERE’S WHAT I REALISED 👇🏻 ⏳I was waiting for him to make the first move, show me he loves me - the PDA’s, the caring arm around me while I’m busy doing something, the random thoughtful gestures. 🙄I don’t like asking for those… to me it feels like it’s “ruined” if I have to ask for it. But I’ve realised how backwards this thinking is: I wouldn’t just “expect” my child to know something without me guiding him. • I know my husband isn’t a mind reader. • I know he means well & has a genuine desire to fulfil, love & please me. • I know that he can’t remember all the things we discuss & like anything he needs reminding & repetition to learn & practice. • I know the things I need/want in terms of affection aren’t logical or natural to him (some yes, others not). ❓So why do I sit here playing victim in my mind that “he mustn’t love or care about me” when I’ve given him no opportunity to learn or practice doing these things I need. So when he said to me, “You know, I think if you want to receive more intimacy you need to give more intimacy” it made me realise that this is a very literal cue for him. When I approach him for a cuddle he sees I’m needing affection. When I ask him to hang out he sees I’m needing affection. When I go about my day giving him smiles, gentle loving touch & little “love cues”, he remembers that I need affection. ❗️This isn’t to say I should always have to initiate, but it was a realisation that instead of shutting down or putting up walls because I feel ignored, I need to help guide him towards these little affectionate “love cues” that I want to receive. 🙏🏻My husband is amazing & he needs the opportunity to learn what I need, to practice what & how often. He can’t do that without me teaching him; asking for & initiating what I need to receive. Then, with time, he can learn more about exactly what I need to receive in order to feel cared for & loved on a daily basis. 📲SHARE to someone who might find this helpful 📲FOLLOW @journeyofanhonestmum for more parenting, twin shenanigans & mum life content #parenting #husbandandwife #twinmum #brisbanemums #LifeAdvice #relationshipadvice #mumssupportingmums

Bronte Edmunds - Single Mum

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Sunday 07 April 2024 01:41:17 GMT