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Tuesday 16 April 2024 12:11:16 GMT

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If you are in a relationship where one partner wants to talk things out immediately, and the other person needs space to have a productive conversation later on, you are not alone. Many couples experience this, because our communication styles differ based on who we are. This can be a really challenging compromise, and in some cases results in either partner putting their needs aside to resolve the conflict, which unfortunately can lead to resentment and built up pain. It’s a challenging cycle because the person trying to communicate in the moment, feels abandoned and alone. The person who needs space feels overwhelmed and controlled. It’s a cycle that doesn’t get resolved right away, and one that requires work. One of my favourite tips I heard for people in relationships with someone they love is “always assume positive intent.” When you partner needs space, it’s because they want to calm down and have a productive conversation with you that leads to a resolution. When your partner wants to talk about it in the moment, it’s because they don’t enjoy the conflict and want to move on with you together. Both positive intentions, just communicated in different ways. So, now what? 1. understand you partners reaction on a deeper level to build empathy. Maybe the person who needs space grew up in an environment where they got in trouble for having strong emotions, and they’re worried about expressing those in front of you. Maybe the person who needs to talk right now grew up with parents who would never communicate and had a relationship full of resentment. Talk it out! 2. Have conversations about conflict communication styles before an actual conflict. For example. “Just because I need space doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you, I still love you and that’s the reason I take the space” then remind your partner of this in the argument 3. Compromise- this one is hard, but one of the only ways to end this cycle. What does space look like? What does talking about it now look like? Is there a middle ground. Can one partner go for a 15 minute walk and when they come back be ready to talk? Ib: @Amelia Perri,RP -Therapy Heals

If you are in a relationship where one partner wants to talk things out immediately, and the other person needs space to have a productive conversation later on, you are not alone. Many couples experience this, because our communication styles differ based on who we are. This can be a really challenging compromise, and in some cases results in either partner putting their needs aside to resolve the conflict, which unfortunately can lead to resentment and built up pain. It’s a challenging cycle because the person trying to communicate in the moment, feels abandoned and alone. The person who needs space feels overwhelmed and controlled. It’s a cycle that doesn’t get resolved right away, and one that requires work. One of my favourite tips I heard for people in relationships with someone they love is “always assume positive intent.” When you partner needs space, it’s because they want to calm down and have a productive conversation with you that leads to a resolution. When your partner wants to talk about it in the moment, it’s because they don’t enjoy the conflict and want to move on with you together. Both positive intentions, just communicated in different ways. So, now what? 1. understand you partners reaction on a deeper level to build empathy. Maybe the person who needs space grew up in an environment where they got in trouble for having strong emotions, and they’re worried about expressing those in front of you. Maybe the person who needs to talk right now grew up with parents who would never communicate and had a relationship full of resentment. Talk it out! 2. Have conversations about conflict communication styles before an actual conflict. For example. “Just because I need space doesn’t mean I’m abandoning you, I still love you and that’s the reason I take the space” then remind your partner of this in the argument 3. Compromise- this one is hard, but one of the only ways to end this cycle. What does space look like? What does talking about it now look like? Is there a middle ground. Can one partner go for a 15 minute walk and when they come back be ready to talk? Ib: @Amelia Perri,RP -Therapy Heals

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