@kasey3224: June 1th 2021 started it all. I remember that night so clear losing (my now ex) boyfriend best friend and then my a guy that i thought of as my other father 7 days later. He meant the world to me and I was so excited to show him and tell him in person about everything thats happened while he’s been in and out of the hospital. Yes I told him over the phone but he always told me that seeing my smile while talking about it means more to him. Only if I knew those two calls within a week of each other were just the start….. After both my ex and I losing people we were extremely close to I kept losing people I was close to. In the matter of 4 month 10 people passed away. All of them made me a part of who I was. That was the start of numbing forming in my body…. 2022 my ex and I split up and as I was reflecting through it all the numbing feeling took over my whole body. I didnt care about anything that made me happy. I didnt want to go to work, answer emt calls and I didnt want to leave the house. So much didnt make sense to me anymore my body was feeling overwhelemed 24/7 but life goes on right? The only true reason I continued to go to work was because I have bills to pay and falling behind on those was not an option. Losing everything I have physically worked for was not an option. Failing to provide for my dog whose kept me going was not an option. Whenever I tell my stories of EMT calls or what ive mentally go through I always get told ‘you dont seem to be effected by it’ and I will proudly admit and answer ‘because ive came to terms I need professional help and it doesnt make me weak’. From 2021 to 2022 i was the worse verson of myself I have ever seen and someone who I didnt want to be because I didnt want to admit I needed help. I gave my signs i needed help but i kept telling everyone i was fine because i wasn’t ready to accept i needed help. Admitting you need help doesn’t make you weak it shows that you know your limit and boundaries. It shows that you are strong enough to carry on fighting those mental battles with the strength you know you have internally. It shows you can’t control everything but you are learning to adapt to what’s going on around you. It shows you that you can heal as long as you allow yourself. Nothing will be fixed instantly but it truly shows over time you will heal as long as you allow yourself. #mentalhealthmatters #MentalHealthAwareness #yournotalone #keepfighting #dontdfakeithealit
