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it's just one of the many many experiences but this guy clearly had a deep preference for fair skin, and while he never openly admitted to using any products, the difference between his older and recent pictures was striking, almost like he had intentionally lightened his skin over time. He used to compliment me but always about my complexion. It made me uncomfortable, like my worth to him was tied to how fair I looked. He even altered his accent, trying to sound like someone from a different background, as if being South Asian wasn’t enough. When I tried to talk to him about racism and colorism, he got defensive, saying I was making him feel guilty for something that came naturally to him, that he couldn't control what he was attracted to, he never admitted it was wrong. It felt deeper than that it felt like he was trying to erase the parts of himself he grew up with, clinging to this idea of status and power. He would talk about wanting luxury, power, and big connections, even saying he wanted his future kids to be surrounded by rich people's children. It was all so strange and unsettling to me, but at the time I just kept agreeing because I loved him and didn’t know how to confront the discomfort I felt. Looking back, it’s sad how much I tolerated just to avoid conflict, how easily I shrank myself to keep the peace.
2025-08-04 14:49:11