@alexandramadison_: Over the past few weeks, I’ve had a front-row seat to grief. It comes in waves, like people said it would, but it’s nothing like I expected. At first, I was drowning. I never thought I’d be able to come up for air again. There was a constant pressure on my chest, a lump in my throat, a dark cloud over me. A fellow loss mom shared a poem with me just days after losing Leo, which helped me understand what I was feeling and what to expect: "Love Came First" by Donna Ashworth. I never knew my heart was capable of so much love, and yet, so much pain. As first-time parents, this was a nightmare. I can’t help but feel like we were robbed of a journey that was supposed to end differently, but I know we don’t walk this road alone. Although it’s only been a few weeks since losing Leo, I can look back on those darkest moments in absolute awe that we can breathe again. While therapy has helped, I couldn’t be more thankful for Jon being my rock and my anchor through this storm. I am endlessly grateful for the partner I chose to go hand in hand through life with. The outpouring of love from our community has been overwhelming. Words cannot express how deeply your messages and support have touched our hearts during this time. Although I’m not always in the mental headspace to respond, please know your kindness has meant the world to me. To my friends and family, and to all expecting parents, I celebrate each of your miracles with you. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, they are truly miracles. To those who, like us, are part of this heartbreaking club we never thought we’d join, please know you are not alone. No one expects to be here, and the pain is indescribable, but together, we find strength in each other. As we continue to heal, we’ll cherish our boy in all the moments grief has become. Moments of laughter, frustration, confusion, and peace. When the hard parts of grief hit like a ton of bricks and I break down at a red light, in the shower, or when a song comes on while I’m cooking dinner- before I take Jon’s credit card and book a flight somewhere tropical, I’ll always remember it’s because love came first ❤️‍🩹

Alex and Jon

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Friday 12 July 2024 15:20:27 GMT