@devinrenshaw35: 1000% agree and you will not change my mind on this. My parents got married at 19 and 21 and had me just two years later. the guinea pig first child of two kids who decided to get married start a family of their own who got to experience at all. What I saw was far from picture-perfect: arguments, fights, and periods where I know they didn't like each other very much even separating for short periods of time. There were definitely times when it would've been easier to throw in the towel and head for greener pastures. But they never did. Did experiencing and seeing all this somehow scar me leaving lifelong trauma to deal with? Absolutely not. You are 2 individual human beings it's unrealistic think you'll never have disagreements arguments or do something that may upset your spouse. it's inevitable that's life. What I didn't say along with all the bad was what came after that I witnessed over and over again throughout my childhood is what truly makes a marriage and family work. They always worked through their problems together no matter how big they were. sometimes one giving more than the other, but never keeping score. They apologized, made sacrifices, took accountability for their mistakes, discussed them, and fixed them. Now here they are going on 38 years and I'm still learning from them every day. I don't know if people pay attention to the vows they make in a marriage covenant between husband, wife, and God, but you clearly acknowledge that there will be seasons of unhappiness and seasons of happiness. There will be good and bad times, but despite all that, you'll never leave each other's side no matter how rough it gets. I don't know where this belief that it's supposed to be rainbows, sunshine, and happiness for the rest of your life comes from because I can't find anywhere that it is promised Seeing the bad with the good and working through issues never throwing in the towel is exactly what family is supposed to look like. What is traumatizing is starting a family with someone who didn't have this example set before them, who carries their childhood trauma into their relationship and family. You and your children get dragged through the mud of their unhealed drama. It's devastating to see your kids suffer and realize you're the only one in the relationship who knows that self-sacrifice and putting others' wants and needs before your own is what love looks like and is key to the family dynamic. Seeing your children go through this at the hands of their other parent is devastating. knowing that you have failed in setting the example for your children that is your duty as a parent I knowing there is nothing you can do about it on your own.

devinrenshaw

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Wednesday 17 July 2024 22:31:13 GMT