care less :
Pa rant diko na alam gagawin
I am someone who is perfectly fine even without having a romantic relationship. I am content with my own company and never felt like I needed someone to complete me.
Then someone came into my life. He has earned my parents' admiration, and I can honestly say that he is a good person respectful, hardworking, full of dreams, and most importantly, God-fearing. Whenever I pray for my future partner, one of the things I always ask God for is that he would be God-fearing, and this man seems to possess that quality but despite my efforts to communicate with him and give this relationship a chance, I feel like I can only give 10% of my heart when 100% is expected. I cannot see him as the person I want to wake up to every day or someone I naturally look forward to talking to and spending my life with.
I feel guilty because he is courting me, and I worry that I may be giving him false hope. One time, he asked if he had a chance, and I didn't want to immediately close the door because I thought that maybe, with time, my feelings would grow. I wanted to give both him and myself a fair chance.
Instead the opposite happened. The more I tried, the more uncomfortable I felt. I began feeling pressured not only by the way he cares for me, loves me, and protects me, but also by how much my parents want me to say yes to him.
Deep inside I do not want to say yes unless I genuinely love him. I don't want to tell someone "I love you" if I do not truly mean it. I don't want to build a relationship on something that isn't real.
As time passes I find myself feeling trapped and overwhelmed. There are moments when I cry to God and ask Him to remove this man's feelings for me because I feel that it would finally set both of us free. But honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't know.
2026-06-04 04:34:12