@goodmorgantherapy: message SEEN for the free relationship masterclass or the $29 ebook or to work with me as a client! The thing that almost broke us up was the fact that he couldn’t forgive me. That was the time that I went “I don’t think I can do this,” because I was living in the doghouse, walking on eggshells, and there was this ever-growing list of things I was doing wrong that were hurtful. I didn’t want to hurt him all the time, but I couldn’t seem to stop accidentally hurting him. He was/is a good kind man who didn’t want to be mad at me for little things all the time, so he kept trying to forgive and let go, but it wasn’t working. He would forgive me. I would apologize, he’d still be mad. So he started just suppressing his emotions which would bubble back over… Forgiveness was our problem. Forgiveness still says “One of us is a victim who needs to forgive. The other one is a villain who needs to be forgiven.” What we ended up needing, what transformed our relationship and why we are so obsessed with each other now: Understanding. So when one of us is upset and we want to blame the other person or start a fight, we ask ourselves these 4 questions: S - what am I scared of? E - what am I embarrassed about? Because blame and anger hides those things from us real fast. E - what was I expecting that I either was not aware of or didn’t say? Because we always have expectations — for instance, you’re expecting to be able to read this right now. N - what do I need to take care of myself and this relationship? SEEN When we start the conversation with that, we get connection and boundaries and we get solutions! We figure out how to move together as a team instead of treating one of us like the enemy.

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Friday 20 September 2024 22:11:09 GMT