@professor.steph: It took me around 6 years Id say to release the people pleasing part of me from that role. And my god is life so much more stable and safe as a result, because the safety and groundedness is coming from within, as opposed to based on the status of somebody else’s mood. Stephen Porges, the creator of Polyvagal theroy, says the goal of toning your vagus nerve is not to be in parasympathetic nervous system 24/7, but to be able to fluidly switch between the diff “drives” of your nervous system (sympathetic, parasympathetic, and what Dr. Lynch calls your social safety system). Not collapsing into people pleasing has allowed me so much more access to my sympathetic nervous (“fight,” aka hold up boundaries using assertive and respectful language) and I feel like I have a greater understanding and embodiment of what Porges was talking about. Thankful for the fairy grand-therapist to drop this wisdom for us 😂✨
Steph the Attachment Professor
Region: US
Monday 23 September 2024 00:55:35 GMT
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__Matt__ :
My people pleaser often wants to make the situation stop. Make someone happy so I don’t have to interact with them anymore. Especially at work in Corporate.
2024-09-23 10:39:54
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tiffanyvanwinkle18 :
I thought you meant dream therapist as in the ones who discuss your nightmares 😂😂
2024-09-23 05:46:38
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Elemental Elsa 🏳️🌈 :
This is a big one to wrap the ol'brain around!
2024-09-23 17:01:25
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JDM :
This is so good! Side note: that color looks incredible on you!
2024-09-26 16:32:07
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Sardonic bionic🇩🇪🏳️⚧️ :
yep. people pleasing at its core, is conflict avoidance in my view
2024-09-23 11:20:38
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Grace Miller41240 :
Someone told me people pleasing is a form of manipulation. Blew my mind
2024-09-23 22:32:41
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cheesemaniac7 :
I’ve heard it said on a podcast that the people pleaser in me is so charming but so insincere. But you said it so much better!
2024-09-23 04:03:04
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N*z*s stehn auf S*hw*nz🍉 :
Ok, but what do I do about the pain the ppl pleaser part of me is trying to protect me from? There's a reason I am deathly afraid of it
2024-09-23 04:01:25
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Tea Time with Emily :
OH. 🤯
2024-09-23 22:35:46
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Amanda DiCristoforo Hanania :
Ok - 1. I love your content and you’re wicked smart! (Im from MA 😂 I can’t not say wicked!” 2. You are gorgeous! How do you get your hair that shiny?!? I’m jealous!!
2024-09-23 12:59:57
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Rachel Iversen :
i was talking abt a convo w a friend in therapy, i didn’t like my response, we were reflecting on what i said & how it was protective vs what i meant, which was “please don’t hurt me”
2024-09-23 01:07:24
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Lady Fomo :
Can you put in a request with the grand-therapist for what I should do about my bf who I think is cheating? 😀
2024-09-26 03:07:48
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camiberri :
Love this. Plus: not only the pj pants, but also your background reflection in the painting, omg wow
2024-09-23 07:28:41
1
yonoemi3 :
33, have no idea what I want/need but boy oh boy, how I’m so good at taking care of others! Ooof!
2024-09-23 01:05:48
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Hekatonicosachoron :
I'm so deep into trying to avoid pain that I don't even get what it's like to not be doing that.
2024-09-23 21:28:47
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Liberated Leslie 🏳️🌈 :
Ohhh. I have client i need to share this with.
2024-09-23 01:29:06
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Lady Fomo :
That’s so confusing but makes so much sense at the same time 😵💫
2024-09-23 01:44:13
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maria🩵 :
that is scary talking about how I feel never goes well
2024-10-26 21:55:28
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Taught by tictok :
That has to be exceedingly rare.
2024-09-26 01:30:01
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🆘🇺🇸 🇺🇦❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 :
i have found since being out of my marriage, I people please less with everyone. I trust more now
2024-09-28 14:17:52
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🆘🇺🇸 🇺🇦❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 :
that's so good
2024-09-28 14:15:11
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☆彡 :
It’s 7 am, I didn’t need this slap of a reality check 😔😔😔😂
2024-09-27 14:19:38
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Maggie Mae137 :
Further pain for me or further pain for others? Like I go help people becuase they need help but I get resentful that they never invite me to anything but help…
2024-09-23 21:09:51
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