@nick_werber: If you’re like me, you might realize this is hurting every one of your relationships... It’s like the adage: The way you do *anything* is the way you do *everything* I want to make one amendment to what I said in this video 👇 Thankfully, sometimes people who want to know us authentically stick around too even when we are playing these roles. And they’re here, waiting, for the moments when we are real, honest, and show ourselves. And for that I’m so thankful 🫶 But you may find that you have more people wanting the role you play than the deeper you until you start showing up more honestly. ➡️ Although I don’t mean to make this change sound easy, I do think if you’re becoming aware of this in yourself, you’re already taking a big step towards making a change that will help your relationships a lot. I’m going to return to this one because I think it goes really deep. *** Thank you to those in the Othered community, there’s inspiration from the group in this video (if you know you know). With care, Nick #generationaltrauma #peoplepleasing #empath #HealingJourney #perfectionism

Nick_Werber
Nick_Werber
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Monday 28 October 2024 22:39:20 GMT
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softcoremessiah
softcoremessiah :
I need practical actionable steps 📝
2024-10-29 00:16:04
1695
planet_coco1701
Alabaster Disaster :
You have to let them see you, not your trauma response
2024-10-28 23:58:12
1137
stayandmarie
Stay Marie :
D. All of the above and yes, I'm the oldest daughter.
2024-10-29 03:30:42
345
leshummingbird
Holli Day :
my entire personality is just trauma responses! 😭
2024-10-30 19:23:30
57
roguedawning
Rogue Dawn :
Okay! What can I do instead? For some of us, the helper empath people pleaser vibe IS what feels like the authentic us.
2024-10-29 12:37:28
70
coastoncarolina
Johnna :
Anxious people pleaser plus problem solver. Sometimes I don’t want to talk to anyone because if I hear one more thing going wrong, I will take it on as my own problem and exhaust myself with it.
2024-10-29 11:03:10
97
discoveryourtempo
Andrew; Neurodivergent Mindset :
lot of us learn to stop feeling emotional pain by shutting down. we gotta relearn how to open up with curiosity again. remember all skills are awkward to start, but practice makes it easier
2024-10-29 00:19:53
69
deforrrrest
deforrrrest :
I was raised to be invisible & it’s prevented me from being comfortable being known by anyone. If they see me, I’m not safe. If they hear me, not safe. Being invisible is safe.
2024-10-31 11:51:59
38
seawitchofsequitpoint
seawitchofsequitpoint :
yeah, we're figuring that out right now. i was only kept safe by being isolated and never expecting anyone to follow through on promises
2024-10-29 16:43:23
25
holon1122127
Rite&Rong :
The adaptive becomes maladaptive. How does perfectionism show up in this scenario?
2024-10-29 12:09:23
130
udanax19
Xan Sprouse (Udanax19) :
So living in my own head because it was the one place I was welcome is a problem?
2024-10-29 01:26:39
10
caestula
RookieRVfun :
I came to this realization recently. Also, I became an RN and now monetizing my people pleasing skills 😂
2024-10-28 23:15:48
16
glndd
gluu lu lu :
I have a hard time understanding what you’re saying 😭
2024-10-29 16:08:58
6
tolovetolose
ToLoveToLose :
So what do I do Nick????😭
2024-10-29 06:39:59
10
tc_grant
TC_Grant :
Thank you, I needed to hear this.
2024-10-29 00:38:09
10
zillaxzilla
zilla :
I identify easily with all of those. But I turned out to be the angry and upset one. Lost everyone over time because of that.
2024-10-29 12:03:43
13
gemmanate48
Gemmanate48 :
I don’t people please anymore. Trying to make friends nowis even harder. They all just want something from me.
2024-10-29 03:15:56
5
sdl5718
SDL :
omg....I can't believe a solution came when I didn't even understand I needed one. I didn't know why I had all these lopsided relationships. A big thank you!
2024-10-29 00:51:02
12
maemaethetxbae
Mae Mae :
If you notice your partner does this, what questions can you ask to draw them out of their safety blanket?
2024-10-28 23:22:37
12
incrementalista
Incrementalista :
Yes I’m exhausted but in my 70s is it too late?
2024-10-28 22:47:41
8
polkins1
polkins :
Ok. Then what? What am I supposed to lead with?
2024-10-29 04:01:21
6
heryogimind
HerYogi Mind :
Wow. This was explained so perfectly. Thank you. Experiencing someone who is doing just this.
2024-12-06 00:06:13
2
loliibye
Loliibye :
me with BPD now bc of undiagnosed/unsupported autism & abuse 👁️👄👁️
2024-10-29 20:23:41
1
funkymonkey653
funkymonkey653 :
I hate that you are right. This is gonna be hard for me moving forward. Thank you.
2024-10-29 03:53:31
1
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