@nobudgetbabe: She works hard for her paycheck, but can’t touch a dollar of it without her husband’s "okay", no matter what the purchase is... I came across a podcast clip that really got to me, and I think it’s something every woman needs to hear. In the clip, a woman explains that she has to call her husband from the checkout line to get permission for any purchase—even basic necessities like deodorant. She’s not allowed access to her own money; instead, her paychecks go straight to a shared account that only he controls. It might seem subtle, but this kind of control over finances is actually financial abuse. When one partner controls every dollar the other spends, they’re controlling much more than money—they’re controlling their partner’s freedom. And while financial abuse doesn’t leave visible marks, it’s incredibly common and can be devastating. Financial abuse happens in 99% of domestic violence cases. Financially abused women often feel trapped because they don’t have money to leave, nowhere to go, and no means of supporting themselves. This type of abuse can feel like an invisible prison, making it incredibly difficult to break free. The scariest part? Abusive relationships rarely start out abusive. They often begin with love, admiration, and that all-consuming attention. Over time, control and manipulation start creeping in—maybe with “innocent” questions about where you’re going, what you’re buying, or why you’re spending money. Often, it’s framed as “concern” or “protection,” and it can even feel caring or loving. But here’s the thing: that “concern” can turn into control. Suggestions turn into demands, and before you know it, you have no access to your own money and no control over your choices. The abuser holds all the financial power, dictating every action you can take in your life. This is why I always say: every person in a relationship needs access to their own money. Have your own bank account. Have your own retirement savings. Maintain your own financial independence. Because, as much as we want to believe, “it won’t happen to me,” financial abuse doesn’t come with a warning label. If you find yourself in a situation where someone else controls your finances, one of the first steps I’d recommend is finding a way to build your own emergency fund. Start small if you need to, and if you’re worried about someone discovering it, some banks, like Wells Fargo, offer “safe” accounts specifically for people in situations like this. Financial independence isn’t just a luxury; it’s a lifeline.

Nicole Victoria | Money Coach

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Wednesday 30 October 2024 12:26:50 GMT