Today I'm here and as is universally acknowledged, the festive season of Christmas has arrived, and the denizens and ogandawala of watu ya Nairobi, with their characteristic haste and fervor, are preparing to traverse great distances at breakneck velocity, and their primary aim is to exhibit a myriad of foreign artifacts and contrivances, the likes of which we only encounter in cinematic portrayals. But before they arrive, I would like to read for all of us new rules for this year so that there is no confusion, pandemonium and hurly-burly. Rule number 1, and this applies to both Jonarobi and jo mtaa, if at any point you are the person they send to go and bring their jackets from the car please go and never come back, in fact go home and think about your life because you're are utterly and irrevocably ng'ama iw diel kabisa. Rule number 2, you only eat what you feed, cham ng'ama ipidho, if you didn't feed the chicken please eat misheveve and sarat, if you can't afford ng'ato don't disturb ng'ato. Rule number 3, rule number adi? Rule number adek and the most important rule is that you shall never and underline the word shall, you shall never be found in the kitchen if you don't know how to cook chapat, and I repeat, let it be known that no individual shall, under any circumstances, find themselves within the culinary quarters unless they are proficient in the art of preparing chapat. For chapat is not merely food—it is celestial in nature, imbued with an almost divine significance. Chapat is ecclesiastical, chapat is ambrosial, chapat is euphonious and only those who can craft chapat of the finest texture, that which is soft, supple, and divine are worthy of occupying the kitchen space. Uwinja maber? Aweyo gi kanyo #luos #gabiromtunecessary #fypシ゚ - @mtunecessary