@thebiggersthebetter: having a helpful village = compromise, acceptence, hard conversations, and appreciation #momtalk #momtips #momlife #preggo #newmom #momlife #parenthood #community #village
And you have to be the village back! Because no village revolves around just one person or one family. The village also requires you to show up for other people even when it’s inconvenient.
2024-11-23 22:23:47
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bridgetonowhere :
I agree. I see so many TikToks of parents unhappy with their village, when it really boils down to them being unwilling to compromise and engage with family. They want people to behave like paid staff
2024-11-23 22:10:58
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Fiona :
They want favors not friends.
2024-11-24 00:36:31
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sheree.amour :
I’ve always felt like people don’t want a village, they just want free babysitters
2024-11-23 23:50:59
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Jamie Wimmer :
Exactly. Like all the parents who want friends but will refuse to stay at a kids birthday party with their kid, and get to know the parents of the children their child is gonna be around for 10 years
2024-11-24 00:38:33
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Arin :
My mom always said that if someone is helping to raise your kids, they will, and are allowed to, have an opinion on how the children are raised.
2024-11-23 23:47:37
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J Rose 🍉 :
A village has to be a judgement free zone where we accept eachother's differences and acknowledge what everyone brings to the table. There's too much ego in capitalism and that's how people know to be
2024-11-24 08:31:33
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Milly :
But this is American way. As an immigrant, the perspective of American families have always been me myself and I and what can I get from you.
2024-11-24 01:16:23
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Perpetual Fangirl :
As a childless woman I have been the village for my mom friends for YEARS but they have never shown up for me. Finally I gave up and now I have no friends.
2024-11-24 10:09:30
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thecopperkitten :
The village comes with accountability and quirks
2024-11-23 23:43:55
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chelswa :
parents are too controlling. If you are entrusting someone to care for your child you need to accept they will do things their way. Obviously there might be some safety-related non negotiables, but does it really matter if grandma gives your kid ice cream or let them watch TV?
2024-11-24 11:13:53
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nonono :
people also romanticizes "villages" too much. meddling old ladies were the ones lending you sugar when you run out of it, people would judge harshly any perceived behaviour that didnt conform
2024-11-24 19:38:15
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Elizabeth :
Wanting a village to help you out also means you have to help the village. I see a lot of ppl who only want to take and take and have nothing asked of them
2024-11-24 00:12:52
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SailorMoonBoo :
They want help with no feedback. You can't correct their kids. But want you to watch them.. Like, no one wants to watch a kid that doesn't listen at all.
2024-11-24 03:38:12
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okayndidi :
And childfree friends spend soo much $ for weddings/bridesmaid duties, kids fundraisers and are expected to be available to babysit but when we want a mom friend to show up for us it’s CRICKETS. DONE.
2024-11-24 01:30:32
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Kelly :
I used to be upset until I realized I never went into the village. 🤦🏻♀️people aren’t gonna just walk into your house and help you.
2024-11-23 23:58:07
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Idhyow :
I always find these conversations interesting as someone who lives in a literal village. I think a lot of the people talking about how they need a village don't understand the kind of /1
2024-11-24 11:26:26
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etwain07 :
ALL. OF. THIS. All I hear is "well I would rather not have toxic people!". Disagreeing isn't toxic, for the love.
2024-11-23 23:10:11
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Viviane Johnson706 :
I always think about this when I go to parenting subreddits. New moms set up so many boundaries that when they need help no one is around anymore
2024-11-24 03:43:21
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Sam’s Every Move💪🏼✨ :
Oh I could NOT like this post more.
2024-11-25 13:08:23
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AJ :
in the future we will all have perfect boundaries and no friends.
2024-11-24 02:11:27
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Kellie :
A lot of times you have to ignore abusive or toxic behavior to keep the village. And we don't want that
2024-11-23 23:12:50
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Funtimes25 :
I see this with Venmo culture. Like why does it matter if you pay me back? Just get the next time.
2024-11-23 23:54:49
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ksy od17 :
you put perfectly into words what ive been thinking when seeing these "wheres our village" posts. village is the not perfect family and relatives we all ran away from after weve been in therapy lol
2024-11-24 09:46:14
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goob ✨ :
I’ve BEEN saying this! True community can be uncomfortable and inconvenient sometimes. Community is messy and requires conflict resolution and compromise.
2024-11-24 04:16:51
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