@nadiaaddesi: Anger is often a secondary emotion, which means it’s not the root of what we’re truly feeling. In my work as a therapist, I’ve seen that anger is frequently the result of deeper, unaddressed emotions like sadness, fear, or hurt. When we’re unable to express or even recognize those vulnerable emotions, anger can be the defense mechanism that takes over. Think about it, when you feel sad but don’t feel like it’s okay to show it, anger can show up instead. It’s usually a mask and a way of protecting ourselves from feeling vulnerable or weak. It’s also easier, sometimes, to be angry than to sit with the discomfort of grief, rejection, or fear. But here’s the thing, anger doesn’t resolve those deeper emotions. It just keeps us stuck in a cycle where we either explode or shut down, but never really process what’s beneath the surface. So, how do we heal? The first step is awareness. Recognize that anger is usually a sign that there’s something deeper going on. Take a moment to ask yourself, “What’s really beneath this anger? What am I afraid of feeling?” This can be uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to start breaking the cycle. The next step is to give yourself permission to feel whatever’s underneath. Whether it’s sadness, fear, or disappointment, allow yourself to experience it without judgment. You don’t have to have it all figured out, and you don’t need to “fix” it right away. Just acknowledge it. Finally, self-compassion is key. Be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to feel angry, but it’s also okay to feel sad, scared, or frustrated. By creating space for all your emotions, you’ll start to heal and let go of the anger that’s been protecting what was never allowed to be felt. It’s also important to surround yourself with people who are comfortable with sadness. When we are with others who aren’t afraid of vulnerability, we feel safer expressing the emotions that we often try to suppress. The more you allow yourself to feel and understand what’s beneath your anger, the more you can show up for yourself in a compassionate, healthy way.

Nadia Addesi

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Saturday 30 November 2024 19:53:45 GMT