@veryaverageammy: I almost deleted this. Closure isn’t pretty. Its dark, devastating and, often times, confusing. Over the past 3 months, I’d detached myself from the entire situation and convinced myself none of this was real. He was still alive and I’d find him again. If I’m being honest, and I’m not proud to admit this, I’ve been keeping an eye on horse sale pages to see if he comes up. EVEN WHEN I knew this was in the mail, i convinced myself I’d open it and it wouldn’t be him. It’d be a random horse because of COURSE this was an elaborate scam! He left me in the best shape of his life. Hes ALIVE and probably thriving. I told them I’d buy him back! Fortunately, it is undoubtably him. This brings me a sense of relief because I’m no longer wondering where he is, how he is. I can go on knowing that he’s found peace and hes not hurting. Hes in a large field (probably alone tbh - but there are other horses nearby) with an unlimited amount of alfalfa, and every time he takes a nap, it feels like a cold winter day with his 100g blanket on with the sun shining right on him. That makes him happy Unfortunately, for me, i have to actually accept that I won’t see him again. Which honestly, im not totally sure how to do because i STILL don’t believe it, even though i can FEEL that the tail and mane I got is his. So im going to figure that out.. somehow. Meghan, Malcolm’s previous owner, very graciously offered to take me to her boy, Stryder’s, place of rest to bury a piece of Malcolm next to him. I cannot even begin to describe how thankful I am for her to even offer such a sacred spot. thank you malcolm ❤️ i will miss you forever. • • • #grief #griefjourney #petloss #petlossgrief #horselover #horsegirl #equestrian #equine #horses #vulnerable #rainyday #closure #depression #horsetok #memories #memoriesareforever #horsetok🐴 #thankful #thankfulforyou

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Friday 13 December 2024 21:22:57 GMT