@kp_counseling108: Ever notice how quickly conflict can spiral? You share a vulnerable feeling, and suddenly the conversation shifts: ✨ “So now I’m the bad guy?” ✨ “You’re acting just like your mother.” ✨ “I’ve done so much for you—why isn’t that enough?” These responses aren’t random—they’re your partner’s way of grappling with cognitive dissonance. When we hear something that challenges our self-perception or core beliefs, our brains scramble to reject the discomfort. It’s not malicious—it’s self-preservation. Here’s what’s really happening: Your partner isn’t dismissing you because they don’t care. They’re struggling to hold two truths at once: I see myself as a good partner, but this feedback suggests I might have hurt them. That tension triggers their defense mechanisms. But cognitive dissonance isn’t just their issue—it’s all of ours. How often do we reject feedback because it’s easier than sitting with the possibility that we’ve caused harm? How often do we deflect criticism with, “You’re overreacting,” instead of asking, “How did my actions impact you?” Cognitive dissonance keeps us stuck in patterns of defensiveness, blocking connection and repair. Instead of addressing the real issue, we argue competitively about who’s right or who’s worse. Over time, this distance erodes trust and intimacy. When you feel triggered, pause and reflect: 🌀 What am I trying to protect? 🌀 Why does their feedback feel threatening to me? 🌀 Am I rejecting their perspective because it’s uncomfortable—or because it’s untrue? You can hold onto your self-worth and make room for your partner’s feelings. That’s where true connection begins. If these patterns feel familiar, you’re not alone. Join me for my first live virtual cohort this January, where we’ll explore how triggers and cognitive dissonance shape our conflicts—and how to break free from those cycles. 💌 DM me to join the waitlist. Let’s turn defensiveness into connection. #RelationshipGoals #EmotionalIntelligence #ConflictResolution #CommunicationMatters #SelfAwareness #TraumaHealing #HealthyRelationships

Kim Polinder Coaching

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Region: MQ

Monday 16 December 2024 14:15:23 GMT