@cocoonmentalhealth: most families that i’ve seen have at least one of these things driving their anxiety… 1. Unrealistic expectations.
This could be either: a) Others expectations on you — So you feel pressure, guilt, forced to do, say or be things that are not genuine and are mostly for other people. b) Your expectations on your family — Always feeling disappointed or hurt that they can’t be who you want + need them to be.
Wishing they could just freaking be peaceful and happy and fun this ONE TIME, yet being hurt when they inevitably let you down. 2. Your people pleasing and difficulty with boundaries/saying no. If there is any time of year this will come out in you, it’s prob now. When there are big events, stress and pressure to perform — our foremost patterns come out HARD.
Obviously this can create MORE issues like feeling resentful, angry, misunderstood and allowing others to keep their positions of control/power in the family. 3. Tension and unresolved hurt between family members. Even if it’s not involving you, you’ll probably still feel it.
 4. Enmeshed relationships + emotional instability.
Enmeshed = 1 or more people not being able to stand on their own two feet without others.. manipulative behaviours and codependency can feature here.

Emotional instability = Angry outbursts, insults, people making things about them.
If you know, you know.. ⭐ soooooo here’s 2 qu’s for you to help survive⭐ ⭐ 1. What patterns, dynamics and roles exist in your family like who gets stressed, who do you please, who triggers you AND what are you going to do to shift those things if you can be bothered? OR if you dont have the energy — have a back up plan to leave early, distract yourself, change the topic, have something to say in preparation. ⭐ 2. You are also your own family. The day before or after xmas — this can be yours. Seeing chosen family, doing things you want to do, processing and chilling out - this not only makes you feel good it also buffers the other hard day so youre less likely to be triggered and spiral.

Ellie 🌞 Therapist

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Sunday 22 December 2024 06:21:42 GMT