@rubat0sis: Every family is unique, & there isn’t a “cheat code” when it comes to convincing parents, especially when cultural & religious expectations come into play. However, I can share what helped Farhaan in our situation, which might offer some insight. STAY FIRM IN YOUR FAITH & VALUES Farhaan’s approach was rooted in Islam. He knew that if the marriage was permissible according to Islamic principles, there was no valid reason to reject it, especially when it came to things like ethnicity/culture, which, while important to some families, are not Islamic requirements. Parents may initially react strongly & negatively, but be confident in your beliefs. Farhaan did extensive research, spoke with reliable scholars, imams, & sheikhs to ensure everything was Islamically sound (Surah Maeda Ayah 5 permits marriage to a practicing Christian woman, like in your case). This gave him the strength & confidence to approach his parents. BE PREPARED FOR CONVOS TO FEEL UNPRODUCTIVE AT TIMES There will be moments when discussions are emotional, or your parents may not seem open to understanding. That’s when your faith, hope, & prayer will become even more important. Farhaan constantly prayed Istikhara to maintain his belief that marrying me was the right choice. You have to rely on God’s guidance to get through these tough moments. HAVE PATIENCE & PERSISTENCE These things take time; it took us 2 years from start to finish. Be prepared to be committed. As time went on, Farhaan’s parents saw how serious he was & how he wasn’t letting go, so they started to listen more. BE READY TO ANSWER DIFFICULT QUESTIONS You need to show your parents how serious you are. When do you want to get married? What will your wedding look like? Where will you live? How will you raise your children? You & your partner must be aligned in your goals & intentions for the future & stay true to these plans for one another without breaking under outside pressure. BE RESPECTFUL BUT TRUE TO YOURSELF This is your life & your marriage, & while your family’s opinion matters, it shouldn’t overpower your convictions. Despite what many parents may say, disagreeing isn’t disrespect. Be respectful, but firm. Use Islam as your guide & consult scholars to help you navigate this balance. TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH This process can break you. Farhaan sought counseling to maintain his mental health, so please don’t hesitate to ask for help. It can be a huge burden to carry (feeling split between your family & partner), & it can be detrimental very quickly. INTRODUCE YOUR PARTNER TO THEM If possible, having your parents meet your partner can alleviate fear of the unknown. It helped us when I met Farhaan’s parents, made an effort to respect their culture, & showed care. I hope this helps❤️

rubatosis🍉

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Friday 03 January 2025 23:21:11 GMT