@arianna_derosa: before i begin, malnutrition comes in all shapes and sizes—you don’t need to be severely underweight for reversible & irreversible health symptoms to occur. even then, you don’t need the sickly “achievement” to have gone to the hospital (you don’t get a special reward, nor should a hospital visit in itself be a validating reminder that you were “sick enough”); ed’s are disorders of the MIND that may bring along physical side effects. REPEAT THAT AGAIN FOR ME! acknowledging and remembering this entirely, i wanted to share thoughts from the mentally agonizing three weeks spent sleeping on a hospital bed, as NEDA week brings back these memories; everyone in there was sad (justifiably) and would feed off of one another’s behavior, no matter how much the staff tried to prevent it. trying to read back the journal i kept is quite terrifying, as it sounds like i was going insane. i would write poems about the clock’s deafening ticks and the coldness of waking up at 5:30 for vitals. it was honestly, pure torture! and i am so grateful for healing, knowing a place like this is nothing but a distant memory—a harsh memory, but distant. I AM THANKFUL I DONT LOOK AT CALORIES ANYMORE THAT WAS EXHAUSTING i am far too aware of ED’s but ill spread some of that awareness around for NEDA week my recovery wasn’t started on a set day, i went back and forth, and back and forth again—until the behaviors & thoughts slowly faded from the forefront of my brain one of the few positive takeaways from my hospital experience was the short existential thoughts in which i realized i was literally in a wing of a building for people scared of a basic necessity. i’m in here.. because of …food. it got sillier and sillier the more that thought popped up. obviously, the health and mental symptoms aren’t silly, but the base concept….. like..😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 BUT PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP, YOU DONT NEED TO REACH A “MILESTONE WEIGHT” IN ORDER TO “STOP”. TAKE THIS NOW AS A SIGN !!! MESSAGE ME IF U WANT ^_^

arianna

Open In TikTok:

Region: US

Tuesday 25 February 2025 16:58:56 GMT