@rewirewithrach: Why fearful avoidants will ghost the very people they care about then spiral 🫠😵💫 PS my REGULATE & RESPOND workbook teaches you to feel safe enough to hold love without feeling the need to run 🔗 in bio #fearfulavoidantattachment #attachmentstyle #avoidantattachment #anxiousattachment #dating #relationships #Love #healingtiktok #healingprocess #nervoussystemregulation #rewirewithrach #fyp #foryoupage #fypシ
What if. I send her this I wish I could read it to her. I’ve thought a lot about all of this—not just what happened, but what you might’ve been feeling. I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. I really believe that. I think you got scared. Not scared of me—but scared of how close things were getting. And honestly? That makes sense.
If you’ve been through stuff where closeness never felt safe or didn’t last, even something good can start to feel heavy. Like your guard kicks in and says, ‘Don’t get too close, you might get hurt.’
And when I kept showing up, when it got consistent—I wonder if that actually felt overwhelming in some way. Maybe the longer I stayed steady, the more it started to feel like pressure or like it was all going to fall apart eventually. Like you had to get out before it got worse. But for me, I wasn’t trying to trap you—I was just caring. Genuinely. Quietly. Without expecting anything huge back.
I also wonder if me being emotionally steady made it feel even harder for you. Like you had to be more okay than you actually felt. But I never needed you to be put together all the time. I’ve had my own mess. I just wanted you—even when things felt unsure or messy. I wasn’t judging you.
And maybe when things between us felt calm and real… like I was actually seeing you—maybe that was too much. Not because there was anything wrong with you, but because it was vulnerable in a way you weren’t used to. Like you were being seen too clearly. But I wasn’t looking for flaws. I liked who I saw.
You’re not broken. I know you’ve had to protect yourself for a long time. You’ve probably had to rely on that guard just to feel like you could breathe. And if you ever wanted to work through that—slowly, safely—I’d be patient. I’d walk with you, not in front of you.
I just needed you to know—I never stopped seeing you. And I never thought you were too much.
2025-07-16 15:07:16
1
Kasandra Marie :
I’m an FA I live in constant cognitive dissonance I love him I hate him. Put him on a pedestal devalue him, it’s exhausting af! But the fear of betrayal is stronger than my love for him even though ik he’s safe& trust worthy I can’t risk it! 😩
2025-06-02 04:19:35
45
Lindsay :
he was the most communicative caring man I'd ever met. he lost job hours and got stressed and told me he just needed to focus on his sorting his career out. i gave him space and eventually reached out
2025-05-10 21:38:36
15
Azrael Torres 🏳️⚧️ :
“They don’t know how to hold to without losing themselves.” That part hit me
2025-05-11 13:05:14
46
perish :
the amount of projection they do in a relationship is insane too. worrying themselves about your commitment when they were never committed to begin with!
2025-06-02 18:39:04
47
onmymomma :
i am like 90% sure this happened with the FA i dated but i never heard from him. do they ever come back?
2025-08-02 21:47:25
0
gracielalindaa :
Of topic but youre one of the most beautiful women ive seen in this app
2025-04-26 09:04:14
5
shawn_spencer_psych :
Okay, but how to we prove to them that we’re safe and they don’t have to ghost. That ghosting is way more painful to us than a simple conversation?
2025-11-26 02:12:02
0
Dom Vix :
It is not fair that it was him chasing me and creating closeness, never letting me go when I wanted at start to end things, he reel me in and when I invested a huge emount, then I am not so good anymore and get discarded. I don't understand how they don't see what they are doing!
2025-05-14 22:54:47
6
Emily Amanda 🌱 :
I don't know what losing self means to an avoidant because they do not know themselves at all. losing what? autonomy?
2025-06-02 22:43:03
3
Babylon Resident Apparently. :
i told my avoidant (7 years on and off) that he was like a mirage. awesome and intense until you got close, then would disappear. it was so painful. im 3 years out. thankfully.
2025-10-19 21:16:17
4
Cosmicalea 🇨🇦 :
I’m a healing fearful avoidant. I realize my patterns now. When I started to detach I would start fault finding and getting the Ick then I would pull away. The betrayal & abandonment wound ran deep.
2025-06-08 15:33:15
10
Dar 👑 🏳️🌈🪬 :
When I got discarded, I never looked back.
2025-06-03 16:58:09
3
Tammy :
I am an FA, I absolutely hate it 😩😩😩
2025-04-13 04:01:39
19
SillyKunt :
mine hasn't ghosted. we still see each other and text every day and have phone calls. I feel like he's trying, but he still seems scared.
2025-05-25 17:08:02
3
Nadim :
You were there for her. You did love well. You can be proud of that. Her inability to stay isn’t proof you’re unlovable. It’s proof she’s not ready to hold what you offer. The right person will want to stay, even during her own hard times.
2025-07-11 14:34:35
8
mistycopeland462 :
He’s not my problem anymore 😅
2025-05-04 23:33:29
4
B :
What does losing themselves mean?
2025-05-22 10:45:49
1
nelli_sky :
Marriage turned me into FA… lots of mental trauma, had to deal with partners substance abuse.
2025-05-12 02:18:09
0
Nunu♏️🇳🇬🇺🇸💙💛🐩 :
Well that explains why 😩 I’ll probably text him Thursday 🙈
2025-05-13 04:29:25
1
herbeautylife Наталя :
well my avoidant dissappeared mid conversation more than 2 weeks ago, did reply 5 days after to a work/life related questions and continues to stay silent and watch stories out of habbit and posts more, before it was like once a month 🤷🏻♀️he doesnt need me, he needs attention and love from random ppl, not someone who wants him to be accountable for his life and actions, change for better and support him on his journey
2025-05-26 07:39:48
1
KayKiss :
I just always get the ick then pull away slowly. Then come back later
2025-05-15 03:23:00
1
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