Mallola Khalidi
Region: US
Sunday 20 July 2025 20:35:00 GMT
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Rachel Ann :
I want to know why tom got his friend a 100 pound bottle of tequila and that was ok but it’s not ok for them to give his gf a 120 pound gift card.
2025-07-21 01:02:35
169
Miriam itzel :
They should have paid for what they ate/ drank and if they couldn’t afford it then they shouldn’t attend.
2025-07-20 23:19:29
61
firstlady2006 :
Why Tom seeking contributions for his girlfriend gift, it’s clearly Tom can’t afford the bag on his own.
2025-07-20 20:43:13
521
Zeinab AF :
I’m sorry but a Gucci bag AND a 3,000 pound dinner is insane.
2025-07-20 22:40:04
353
Danni S :
I’m sorry I’m still stuck on the fact that the birthday person is the one who hosts and pays for everything like “hbd to me /I/ get to pay for you all”???
2025-07-21 19:54:24
9
Jessica :
No to all of the above and they should have let the group know they would no longer be participating. Did they pay for their portion of dinner or went and expected Tom was paying?
2025-07-21 20:43:54
6
Christina Alexandra :
NTA for watching your money and not wanting to contribute. But YTA for not communicating with the others beforehand.
2025-07-20 23:14:39
12
MJ :
definitely not common in the UK, we do the same as you with the meal, my friends and I all chip in to get 1 bigger gift, but it's £20-£30 each max, we have been friends for 29 years...
2025-07-21 06:47:49
0
Montse :
Yep, she’s a little wrong. The problem is the miscommunication. OP doesn’t really explain how this “new weird tradition” started and what were the agreements. When situations like this happen, people tend to assume that if no one says anything, then everyone agrees; also, people tend to agree that if you agree to go with it once, you will always agree. OP doesn’t state having talked to the group about her and husband’s intent to get off their new tradition. My suggestion would be to be adults and have an open conversation with everyone in the group about the next steps. Explaining their position and trying to come to an agreement with everyone. It could be getting out of the big present group and OP&Husband get their own gifts, while the group does similar spend gifts for them on their birthdays. It could be there’s a set amount on the contribution, etc. For the chipping in for Tom, I would offer a small amount and explain that’s all we could afford. Then have the real talk.
2025-07-27 19:38:44
0
MyrtleSandwich :
In my country it's normal that the birthday person pays for the party and everyone else brings a gift but then it's usually at home. If they dine out, the gifts night be smaller because everyone pays for their own meal. In some friend groups the gifts are very expensive, but others are very small and it's more about the gesture. If OP's friend groups rules suddenly changed and they already had a few birthdays, I'd say finish the year so everyone got the same amount, and then politely explain your financial situation and that you'll be doing your own gifts and also don't need/expect expensive gifts yourself.
2025-07-21 08:06:58
3
Raegan :
Why didn’t they just give the money they spent on the massage toward the gift?
2025-07-21 16:29:51
1
makaimd :
At the end of the day Tom is the only one that has to lay next to her...y'all don't owe anyone anything.
2025-07-27 20:14:54
2
Cami Rae :
Opting out is completely fine. NOT COMMUNICATING that you're bowing out when it's obviously expected, is not.
2025-07-21 23:02:57
8
Meagan Morgan :
it might just be me, but I wouldn't be going in on a Gucci bag for someone unless I'm super close with them
2025-07-20 22:05:25
98
Darcy Young :
Damn, people can be so materialistic. It’s about friendships not things.
2025-07-20 20:44:03
197
Nia Sandhu :
Why does th type of birthday even matyer real friends will hang low key birthdays and laugh at the shits n gigz real friends dont give an efff abt where u go or what u do so long as th birthday person enjoyed
2025-07-22 07:47:12
1
Rnk68 :
That’s a euro sign not pound🥲 i’m from europe but hey go on with the story
2025-07-21 13:59:58
1
Michelle :
the birthday person should be treated to dinner and buy their own Gucci bag
2025-07-22 01:16:22
2
Motherperfect :
You need a new group of friends
2025-07-21 00:51:11
39
Nikisha 😘🧡 :
I think the issue was it sounds like this is an agreement between the group. if you now cannot continue with this tradition(which means its now normally expected) you have to say "we cannot participate anymore"
2025-07-24 21:58:14
1
Albuquerque Photographer :
I would send money for my dinner, but that’s it.
2025-07-21 02:20:26
27
Cheryl :
split the bill is nice but gifts that are expensive is crazy
2025-07-20 21:50:03
44
🌸🌸Nish🌸🌸 :
Let everybody know from now on that you will not be participating in these group gifts.. they are not the ones paying your bills. true friends will accept anything you give them or even your company
2025-07-22 15:53:37
0
Soraya Elena :
They shouldn’t have gone to the party if they weren't going to follow the group rules.
2025-07-24 01:09:31
0
LaPetiteVani :
nah Sounds Like they have an average to higher average income but want some luxury. its not ok to make your Friends pay for it. in my friendgroup and Family we gift around 20-30€ for birthdays. we all got bills to pay and with all those Kids it adds up quickly
2025-07-23 05:14:15
2
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