@mzlavender:

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Friday 18 July 2025 14:34:29 GMT

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When I say I was excessively exercising I mean going to the gym for 2-3 hours and not leaving until my Apple Watch said I had burnt at minimum 1000 calories. 1000. My body hurt. It was begging me to chill. But I refused to listen. Because being unhealthy didn’t give me as much anxiety as weight gain. At one point I was 13% body fat. I was no longer getting a period. I weighed myself morning and night and panicked when my night weight was more than 2 pounds than my morning weight. I weighed everything I ate. I wouldn’t go out to eat and if I didn’t have something I considered healthy in my house I would rather starve than eat something that wasn’t macro friendly. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life stressing about my body because the truth was that even after all of that, it was still never good enough. I knew I was never going to just wake up one day and love myself. So I got help. Professional help. And now here we are a Movement of any kind is self love. It isn’t a punishment or anxiety filled prevention. If you have a body, you have a summer body. Love you! 💋

When I say I was excessively exercising I mean going to the gym for 2-3 hours and not leaving until my Apple Watch said I had burnt at minimum 1000 calories. 1000. My body hurt. It was begging me to chill. But I refused to listen. Because being unhealthy didn’t give me as much anxiety as weight gain. At one point I was 13% body fat. I was no longer getting a period. I weighed myself morning and night and panicked when my night weight was more than 2 pounds than my morning weight. I weighed everything I ate. I wouldn’t go out to eat and if I didn’t have something I considered healthy in my house I would rather starve than eat something that wasn’t macro friendly. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life stressing about my body because the truth was that even after all of that, it was still never good enough. I knew I was never going to just wake up one day and love myself. So I got help. Professional help. And now here we are a Movement of any kind is self love. It isn’t a punishment or anxiety filled prevention. If you have a body, you have a summer body. Love you! 💋

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