DAISY⁷ :
Ok I had to come back and write this more intricately: This song makes me want to throw up because it makes me think of everytime I see my brother. He’s a drug addict and has been since he was 17. We used to be close, best friends even. He was my older brother and I looked up to him so much. Everytime I saw him I tried to convince him to choose something different for himself, after all I thought, “This can’t possibly be how he ends up.” We’ve done everything we can to help, spent so much money getting him into rehabs and getting him out of jail, sometimes I’m just thankful that he’s in jail because I know he’s being fed and clothed and not hunted on the street by people he owes. It never works obviously. So eventually I stopped trying, stopped stating blame for the situation, we have been here time and time again, so what was the point? It’s not that we don’t care, but at some point we have to protect ourselves. Now everytime I see him he looks half gone, his face hallow, eyes empty. I will stop when I see him on the street and give him a pack of water and food, and he’ll say thank you, avoiding my eyes, and I know then that he isn’t proud of what he is, that there’s some part of him that still believes what he’s doing is wrong. Then we go our seperate ways. We both know he won’t change. I know I will never see that little boy who loved to sing again. Everytime I see him I fear that it’s my last. I have nightmares about finding him dead, everytime my phone rings in the night I’m so afraid it’ll be that one call. This song will always be about Alex.
2025-08-20 17:50:04