@notsashasha: 1. I give massages that turn “five minutes” into “don’t stop.” 2. I’ll sit on your lap in the Uber — even if there’s space. 3. I don’t steal hoodies. I leave mine so you remember me. 4. I send you spicy pics while you’re stuck in meetings — just to mess with your focus. 5. I remember your mom’s birthday before you do. 6. I don’t need a five-star restaurant. I’ll make noodles taste like a date. 7. I’ll let you lead — but when you need me to, I’ll make the call for both of us. 8. I won’t blow up your phone — but l’ll stay in your head all day. 9. I don’t bring drama. I bring peace — in ways you’ll feel all over your body. 10. I’m the type who stays loyal — even when no one’s watching.