Codependency Kate
Region: US
Thursday 31 July 2025 19:58:32 GMT
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blossomleeno :
My parent said “my backpack is heavier”
2025-07-31 23:42:43
1228
flower_blooms4 :
What if they’re an avoidant…they bring up the backpack but don’t wanna actually unpack it
2025-08-01 03:06:45
616
Jodi - OnCall Founder Support :
Worst case is “I didn’t ask you to carry that backpack. You chose that. That’s on you.” Or “it’s heavy? I GUESS IM THE WORST FOR EVER BUYING YOU BOOKS”
2025-08-01 17:16:35
808
⋆⁺𓆩C A R M I N A𓆪⁺⋆ :
I struggle with knowing which things to show my curiousity about and how to ask someone questions without being intrusive or interviewing them
2025-08-02 00:53:07
25
Rhea Fitzwilliam :
can you give an example of how to do this in relationship terms? I'd love to learn how to do that. the book analogy is throwing me a bit
2025-08-02 00:23:03
33
Allison Joy :
The hard part is that everyone is carrying a heavy backpack, and as a person with a super heavy one trying to do this for a person who will only tell me constantly that the backpack is heavy, but won’t open it up and go through it with me - even when I’m a safe place to do that with, & even when I have my own backpack - is 10x harder.
2025-08-01 12:32:14
90
jeidynfoau :
Where are the people who can actually do that? Cause I’ve been looking for years and I can’t find them in the real world much
2025-08-01 02:35:57
16
user9704233305027 :
This is a perfect analogy
2025-07-31 20:18:58
79
estridjohanne :
Or they say “But what about MY heavy backpack”
2025-08-21 09:32:17
148
user2370645819963 :
My mom would be like “what backpack? I don’t see a backpack? 😂
2025-07-31 23:13:37
322
whatstheteal :
my mom said, "i have a backpack too! look at my books!!"
2025-08-01 09:52:06
232
nineteentwelve :
my mom be like "oh, come on! my backpack is WAY heavier and I've had to carry it 3 decades longer", then my sister in law would chime in with something about how im trying to one up her with my trauma 🫠🤦🏻♀️
2025-08-01 14:41:02
27
Piss-ou :
My parent said “your backpack can never ever be anywhere near my backpack and how dare you show it to me as if your backpack matters. How dare you say I have had a hand in the content of your backpack. You are an awful person for showing me your backpack when mine is so unequivocally the biggest & most damaging backpack that there has ever been in the history of backpacks. You should be grateful to me because I tell you to be and I never want to hear about your backpack ever again.”
2025-08-01 01:48:34
158
Jessica Rice :
“Give your backpack to God”
2025-08-02 12:48:58
36
Kiwi’s mom :
Can you give a real example of how this conversation would go with a real life topic? I understand the point you are making but having a hard time visualizing how this would go between two people. (I am autistic)
2025-09-22 15:51:48
17
Hamana🍉Hamana :
The secure sense of self is the real kicker
2025-07-31 22:14:07
13
Birkenheath :
How about, “You’re backpack is heavy?! Well, mine is even heavier.”
2025-08-08 05:13:32
10
BSquared24 :
What if when met with curiosity, they express they don’t want to have to explain or teach someone for them to understand? They just want you to get it?
2025-08-19 18:03:10
11
⋆ Niki ⋆ :
My partner isn’t curious about me
2025-08-12 02:45:43
7
user9946602154206 :
Do you have an example of such a conversation? My son told me something I was doing. I felt horrible. It was an eye opener. I apologized and thanked him for letting me know so I can improve. What else can I say?
2025-08-01 02:22:12
16
Antonia Terrazas :
Currently we annotate and highlight and put sticky notes in alllll her books, while she reads the back cover of my books if I'm lucky. And that makes me want to share less because well, it's not worth putting myself out there if she's just gonna talk about herself or look at her phone again. So the cycle continues.
2025-08-01 03:11:22
5
Bee :
What if you’ve done this & your care is dismissed at a later date? Eg, they go back to ‘no one cares’ mode? They said they felt understood/better at the time you helped them but then disappeared & said those things. But they don’t reach out they wait for people to reach in but you don’t want to reach in because you end up being dismissed every time? It’s complicated.
2025-08-01 10:37:08
9
Elentiya :
and you cant do that if you first arent self compassionate, right?
2025-07-31 21:36:35
6
phallien :
What if the person doesn’t even wanna talk about how heavy their bag is, and when it comes up they often lie about how heavy it is
2025-10-14 12:19:18
2
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