maría :
today, on new year’s eve, and all night later i’ve cried because of how good he is, and how he doesn’t deserve the way i treat him. i try really hard, i mean i really try to change myself, even if it can not be seen because of how bad i naturally am, i do not care about people’s feelings, and just do not care about everyone. such an amazing person as him deserves more than the world, and i don’t know how i managed to have such an incredible person as my partner, but i knew that i’ll hurt him, and now that i know that i hurt him, i feel really bad, and all i can think of rn is that it’s going to be better for him if ill let him go, even though he loves me SO FREAKING MUCH, and treat me SO right, he is such a brilliant person, he is my happiness and my support in this rough days. i really want the best for him, and ill try my best in giving him such treatment he deserves, but at the end of a day i’m really just a bad person, and definitely not the one that he deserves.. i love him SO MUCH, i just don’t really know how to show it to him, and how to care about someone and their feelings. i haven’t been showed and teached how to do this…
2026-01-01 04:49:05