@bayavoce: We say we want repair, but a lot of the time what we really want is to be right and feel close, which almost never works. Real repair asks you to go second sometimes. To let go of the version of the story where you're the one who got it ""more right."" It asks you to stop trying to win the argument and start trying to understand the moment. And maybe the hardest part: it asks you to notice when you're the one being impossible to please. The one who’s punishing instead of repairing. Because closeness doesn’t come from someone saying all the right things, it comes from you being willing to receive them when they try. #repair #relationships #emotionalintimacy
DAMN! That 70% thing might be the game changer my brain needed.
2025-08-10 03:02:40
718
Doobiereal :
Have you made a video on how dismissive avoidant can have a success with pwbpd?
2025-08-10 03:16:05
82
SutureSelf :
Being okay with 70% feels like settling territory. If I tell you to do XYZ to fix the hurt you caused and you only do X&Y, I would never just forget about the Z and move on.
2025-08-24 08:06:36
27
anyrulez :
maybe im not understanding this right...
but im thinking if im at the point where i dont need to be right, i dont need to have a conversation about it anymore.
2025-08-12 09:08:21
27
Tina :
It gets pretty hard when you really were the one harmed and the other person will not admit they caused the harm. in this respect the person harmed is "right." like there are certain wrongs and rights in life. also when your partner has severe psychiatric mental disorders, seeing their reality can be literally impossible. and often they are the ones who insist their reality is the correct one. or they expect you to agree. it gets very challenging. I don't think these rules presented fit every situation. I think in my relationship things have to work differently.
2025-08-11 12:42:07
58
M.k :
Over the past few decades, I’ve settled on this ladder— ask them what happened from their perspective. Listen try to imagine how they are feeling and repeat it back to the say that oh that must’ve been awful or I bet you felt embarrassed,
2025-08-17 02:03:30
5
CapNCroc :
1. turns
2. right
3. perspective
4. is 70% repair ok?
2025-08-14 18:18:33
7
UserNotFound :
Now you found it...told u this before
2025-08-10 21:41:44
16
JoshTheG45 :
but what if we do all those things but I’m always wrong and the one that needs to change
2025-09-16 02:43:25
1
Mackenzie :
what do you do when it turns to the other partner doubting the relationship as a whole?
2025-08-25 00:20:01
3
Claude🇨🇦 :
I believe I should be “right” about my values, my integrity, the fabric of who I am. You can come to the window and tell me my actions or my values are different than what I know they are….. I am going to insist on being right.
2025-08-10 06:01:44
14
' :
I want it to be repaired
2025-08-27 22:09:47
3
MacBat :
Please tell me where these glasses are from!
2025-08-10 21:18:20
1
say_ten.uk :
On 1, what is the thing they're complaining about they do to? Or should it be the person that's being addressed? On 2, what if seeking clarification/understanding is seen as trying to be right? How to deal with that?
2025-08-10 07:19:59
8
Bucket_Lizt ✈️🇵🇭🌈 :
Well said i love it ❤️💯
2025-08-10 05:43:27
8
Nature's Ambience 💚 :
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY 🥰🥰🥰✨✨✨
2025-08-11 20:26:17
3
KOBI WOLF 🐺 :
Should i tag her
2025-08-12 20:51:39
1
iDoEnglish✅ :
Thank you ! Great advice
2025-08-10 02:46:56
4
Su_Allen :
Let's be honest, no one on Earth is gonna be a perfect oil paint🎨🖼️, all SM displays just temporary Facades 💯👍
2025-08-10 13:01:05
5
neveradullmoment09 :
Wow!! Brilliant advice!!! I’ll have to find way to share #4 with partner
2025-08-10 14:29:30
1
Viral Hope Hub :
right
2025-10-17 17:01:40
0
Connorleemyers :
As a LMHC I really appreciate your perspective. Thank you!
2025-09-28 00:35:35
0
justin :
Agree with everything u said
2025-09-27 20:45:10
0
aliafradi225 :
Thank youuuu✌
2025-09-26 11:40:58
0
Cassandra Jean :
I have tabled my perspective in order to hold space for his when HE is the one who betrayed me…. And yet he can’t hold space for my pain and perspective after what he did.
2025-08-12 21:13:21
0
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