iamalonelymolecule :
suppressing my own self hatred for more than two decades, my weak body cant take it anymore. my soul is forming cracks, through them, hate seeps out like flowers through concrete. the sadness turns to anger as it becomes shame. immeasurable. one lifetime is not enough to purge myself of my sins. my hands are bloodied with the countless selves I have let go. my bones creak, shuddering against the weight of lives unlived, dreams forgotten, wishes unfulfilled. "What if's" keep me at night, thr ceiling becoming a familiar scenery, barelit lit by streetlights nearby. And as I take each step, one at a time. Begrudgingly. Each ragged breath towards destination unknown. To say I wish to perish is a lie, I am merely clinging to this thin line, desperately holding on to hope. Hands bleeding as I slide down the string of destiny, I can't fault anyonreelse but my pitiful self. Have I endured enough? Alas I will never be enough. I am tired. I am exhausted. Please no more. Before I sleep, I wish to not wake. In the morn, disappointment comes. Regrets reverberating in my skull. Nevertheless, I must move. Forward. There is no other choice. It is the only option. To whoever read this, even if it's future me. Let it be known that I believe in you. In the deepest recesses of my soul, a sacred intuition, divine revelation, of heavenly order, call it destiny, or fate. You will be happy. As is Written. til then~ 🥀😔🌸
2025-08-16 18:00:59