Codependency Kate
Region: US
Tuesday 19 August 2025 15:33:08 GMT
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muroht :
Scolding someone for being honest about their feelings literally makes someone feel unloved
2025-08-19 16:00:36
1509
Klifton :
My mom’s ‘love’ was never comforting. It was a way to control me, and it kept me trapped in an unhealthy closeness I couldn’t escape.
2025-08-19 17:51:29
680
Ox :
nothing says 'i love you' than being a bed room kid, cause being with you in the livingroom at the same time wasnt allowed 😍
2025-08-19 19:10:32
355
evelyn 🫀 :
my mom loves to say “love you” and is like “whew okay I said it” like does NOTHING else
2025-08-19 16:43:32
171
katiebloooom :
exactly this!! my mom loves defending my cruel dad by talking about how much he loves me — it truly does not matter how he allegedly feels if he can’t behave as though he loves me. and sadly, he can’t!
2025-08-20 23:08:25
22
LizzieJ :
“I have to love you. I don’t have to like you.” Cool. Now my nervous system is a wreck.
2025-08-21 09:58:23
42
JamesTheWitch🌒🌕🌘 :
my parents would tell me they love me but would constantly dismiss me and never show up for me. they only thought they loved me. I was a trophy that showed that they performed heteronormativity successfully. they didn't want kids.
2025-08-19 17:11:25
77
Nic Hicw :
You unlocked the memories of cuddling up to my mom with my thumb in my mouth and twirling my hair whining "you don't luuuv me" while she watched TV. It was a running joke in my house through adulthood as an example of how dramatic I was as a kid.
2025-08-19 16:32:56
35
name :
I can still see the pure rage on my mother's face when I said this to her
2025-08-20 07:33:04
14
pink_cheese :
we cant feel ur feelings, we can feel our feelings when were around you. words mean nothing, actions do
2025-08-19 20:33:13
73
Annie :
My mom has used “I love you” when she knows she’s said something that went too far and really hurt. She can’t say “I’m sorry” because that would be admitting she did something wrong. So she tries to make it all better by reminding me how much she loves me 🙄 surprise surprise it doesn’t help!
2025-08-19 16:15:22
59
Poppy Taylor :
My entire family do this 😒 no contact
2025-08-19 17:27:40
23
ImGoingSlightlyMad :
truly. parents can say they love us or that they're always here for us, but they're just words. if a parent doesn't show love and/or doesn't give help or guidance, it just feels hollow. it's like they're putting on a performance of what they think a parent should be, but there's no substance behind it.
2025-08-19 15:51:14
73
Sasha :
Basically 30 now and still don’t feel safe with them. I’ve accepted it’s not happening.
2025-08-22 00:20:37
6
ceebo__ :
Took me almost forty years of my life to realize that was because my parents’ love was actually conditional, despite them telling me the opposite. That’s why it never felt right
2025-08-20 01:34:58
6
apple_saucy :
It’s annoying to be told what you know. Don’t tell me what I know. That’s a manipulation tool imo 😭
2025-08-19 17:18:53
43
mandy :
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I didn’t hear “I love you” from my mother until the day she dropped me off at college. To this day when she says it, it feels forced
2025-08-19 15:57:56
13
Dr. izmo :
What good is saying it if the child cannot feel it?
2025-08-21 05:17:06
7
freetobe423 🆘🇺🇸🏴🆘 :
I ask my son whether he feels loved & what are those things that make him feel loved.
2025-08-19 17:05:10
7
feminineallure :
regulating my own emotions is my life battle to make my child safe and help coregulate!
2025-08-20 02:11:36
9
Kat :
Being a safe person means being curious, present, and decentering yourself in your loved one’s lived experiences. But so many estranged parents are only willing to see their low/no contact adult children’s perception of them as antagonistic. They want to disarm the uncomfortable perception, keep access to their child, and totally bypass facing themselves.
2025-08-20 10:24:15
12
✨Dezi✨ :
EXACTLY. Can we please stop over complicating parenting and estrangement? It’s about SAFETY. It’s your job as a parent to be their safe place. As they grow, that safety turns into the very ground your kids stand on. If you don’t do that as a parent, they have to build the ground themselves. Be a parent who helps the younger you, rather than hinder.
2025-08-21 03:33:23
6
h4irpin :
I always say that I wish my mother could love me in a way I could understand. because I know she loves me objectively, but I never felt safe. I rarely felt that love
2025-08-19 16:54:16
5
Human Druid 🍁 :
this is why it just doesn’t register in my brain when my mom says she loves me. she doesn’t relaly scold but you can sense in her tone that she’s almost demanding me to believe or agree with her, like her priority in these moments is to defend herself instead of making sure I FEEL loved
2025-08-19 20:17:45
5
Emily :
I have never forgotten the day my mum slipped up and told me that she hated me - I was 4. Ever since, all her proclamations of love have never felt the same. A message to all parents, please never make your child feel not loved.
2025-08-19 18:40:17
6
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