probablyjd :
His journal is written in Russian, I transcribed most of it with ChatGPT so here’s a summary of what he was saying: Robin’s words circle around regret, silence, and the feeling of being unseen. He writes about how someone close to him — Arthur — only ever saw weakness in him, and how he always felt like an observer in life rather than a participant. He blames himself for never speaking up, for always staying silent, and believes that his silence became a cage that defined him. That sense of regret haunted him for years, making him feel like he was only a shadow rather than a “real” person.
As he reflects on his life, he describes it as wasted time — waiting for change, waiting for help, waiting for someone to notice him, but no one ever did. He portrays himself as a mask, someone who smiled and joked on the outside while rotting inside. To others he appeared fine, but in truth he felt broken, empty, and invisible. Every attempt to build, love, or believe ended in collapse, leaving him with nothing but ashes and the fear of being forgotten entirely.
By the end, his writing becomes a farewell. He confesses that every breath feels painful, that he is tired of pretending and of carrying the weight alone. More than anything, he longed for someone to simply see him and say “You are not alone.” Because that never happened, he leaves the way he lived: in silence. His journal is his last attempt to be remembered and understood — a testimony of his pain, his invisibility, and his deep desire for connection.
2025-08-27 18:33:56