Internet Anthropology
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Wednesday 03 September 2025 03:08:12 GMT
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worththewater :
It's also an attempt to shame men back into patriarchal norms by assuming men can only display a less patriarchal identities as "performance."
2025-09-03 06:32:51
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Pine Apple :
The thing I can’t stomach with the performative men trend, is how it discourages men from reading. Whether in public or private, we should encourage as many men as we can to read more books!
2025-09-03 13:32:53
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✯*･ﾟ :
the origins of this trend are really important. the "performative" label started as a call out of men who were fully lying about their interests to manipulate women into dating them. that's not the same as making yourself more attractive to potential partners
2025-09-03 16:40:07
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aggregation.manatee :
But what's interesting is that this subtext has always been there. The performative man isn't new; it's just that performance previously was colored by wealth/status/jobs/cars. Now we're seeing that same performance prioritize "coolness" - similar to what you said about women's pageantry and beauty. I think the power dynamic hasn't shifted. It's just that we've become more shallow as a society and value the aesthetics of coolness above all other performative markers of wealth.
2025-09-03 03:55:44
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Ziibinini.ca :
Women are taught about products brands want to sell them, and brands do that by claiming men like the result of a particular product. But overall it sound like "performative men" is the same thing as the "nice guys" thing from 20 years ago, and I'm sure it existed for longer. It's basically "not like other girls" but for guys. — That said, normal everday men have always had to perform and compete for women's attention, it's just much less obvious in the most rich and patriarchal structures.
2025-09-03 14:28:41
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Chris OG and the Dopameanies :
they're just gatekeeping gender signifiers. it's the opposite of the girl in a band shirt getting told to name three songs meme
2025-09-03 09:24:32
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finleythefinster :
Women are still performing. Men have always performed. Trust. Everyone performs none of this is new. Read Erving Goffman
2025-09-03 11:02:55
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yung🥬wipe :
it's the male hipster of the millennial era, now Gen Z
2025-09-03 16:12:59
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joshua :
I hate this performance aspect because at some level it needs to be true and authentic. I don't want to date a performer, I want to date someone who is true. and I'd hope vice versa
2025-09-03 04:33:19
5
Chris T :
I think what is missing here is that it's not performing attractiveness. it's a performance to project that they are a "man who is safe to be around" rather than actually being one. That predatory element of it is why I don't think that analogy of womens performing attractiveness necessarily works.
2025-09-07 17:26:53
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Bradford.psych :
Okay so I am genuinely reading all about love by bell hooks for the first time and I told this girl and she told me it was performative?!?! Like just bc I’m interested in a book doesn’t mean I’m doing it for women. Worst of all she was a writer and told me I made her think too much 😂 😢
2025-09-03 12:51:09
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michellethefawn :
I was on a date with a guy named Chad who looked and acted exactly like a Chad and the first music question he asked was if I liked Ethel Cain
2025-09-03 10:52:30
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Ildze :
Nervousness about who this man is when the performance ends. Well articulated. This is exactly what I was trying to point out in one of the comment sections of other think pieces on this topic. Thanks for sharing
2025-09-03 03:33:55
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Chemical kid :
To human is to perform, we all perform to fit the status quo
2025-09-03 06:04:01
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ceruleanmonologue :
The take on women having done this all the time vs men's new awakening is so real. Remember those cosmo quizzes?
2025-09-03 03:13:44
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Christopher A :
I think it’s just a meme
2025-09-17 17:06:33
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Dylan :
I came here to argue, but my dating profile is literally me in a bathing suit underneath a waterfall while simultaneously reading a book. So I’mma keep it to myself lol
2025-09-03 03:48:01
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milkthebee :
performative because there's no substance outside of a gender role guiding the need for connection
2025-09-04 08:56:57
6
rodzilla :
I perform for my wife. She seems fine with it
2025-09-03 23:15:54
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sarah :
I feel like men perform all the time throughout time. But I feel like it used to be more motivated by sexual prospects and it’s now motivated with a more humanized lens towards the whole woman. This is great progress!
2025-09-04 00:19:56
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thebrewsky26 :
I think the main backlash to "performance" is artifice and loss of trust in what's genuine. Realizing the little charcuterie boards around you are mouse traps.
2025-09-22 14:37:12
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Costantino Chianale :
Though often valid, I feel like the stigmatization of performative men is just the same as the stigmatization of 'simps' from sometime ago
2025-09-05 12:30:54
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Chris Hendrix :
Coming from a gay man, it also comes from women’s anxiety about losing their hold over femininity in heterosexual coupling. It’s the feminine version of being angry at emasculation — which is there even a word for?
2025-09-04 01:38:38
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Tony :
Ken taught me to be performative about myself, therefore as a man I chose not to judge how others perform theirselves wether that's more traditional like sports and cars or books and coffee so long as it is a healthy performance. Be yourselves for yourselves fellas 🤠
2025-09-03 21:06:40
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Topher :
Ladies is a denim jacket performative?
2025-09-04 14:47:18
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