Codependency Kate
Region: US
Wednesday 03 September 2025 15:56:41 GMT
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schmooperboo :
I completely understand what you mean by it being a natural reaction to blame the “new” thing, so blaming the therapist. But for me, it’s just insulting. Like, it just further proves to me that my mother doesn’t see me as an actual person with individual thoughts and opinions, capable of making a decision that is best for me, without being influenced by “outside forces.” My therapist never told me to do anything, but she’ll never believe that, because blaming the therapist is easier for her than to accept that I made a decision all by myself to choose myself over her. Given the choice, she would absolutely prefer me to suffer and continue putting her needs above my own. She thinks I owe her for the rest of my life because she gave the gift of life. Her words.
2025-09-03 16:13:15
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Kasha :
I had a therapist who suggested I separate-cut off my brother to focus on myself in a safe environment. It came to a point where my body started shaking in the presence of my bro. I went low contact -told him I have to separate for a period of time until I’m ready. It was the best advice for me, otherwise i wouldn’t be able to do that on my own. It has been also extremely hard. But, he can’t see that I did this for myself, he’s angry, and puts a lot of false guilt. I think it’s tricky for a therapist but sometimes it’s the best advice for the client imo
2025-09-04 14:09:56
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Mary Ann Hehr :
People are choosing to do it on their own. My take is …. People often don’t like who they become around certain people. Removing those people is a solution. It’s usually Not the best solution. It takes a lot more effort to notice and change who u become around family. I see this allll the time. And yes. It would be nice if parents did same. But you can still do ur part as the child. Basically BE the same person around your parents that you are around your friends and coworkers.
2025-09-05 03:00:54
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🌈Violet Strange✨ :
Would you mind talking more about the "what role did I play" please? I struggle with this (responsibility and powerlessness are major negative congnitions for me) and I can't quite seem to wrap my head around playing a role in something that I wasn't aware of
2025-09-03 16:38:59
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Carl :
That kind of growth would require my mom to have the ability to reflect. She lets go and lets god whenever she feels “stressed” which is her response to everything that isn’t sleeping.
2025-09-03 20:25:14
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M. Tallett (née Clark) :
My fiancés mother sent him a video stating that therapists advise clients to cut off their parent. We both found it pretty insulting and misguided. I don’t speak to my father and no therapist has ever told me not to. If they did, I would find it unprofessional. It was a decision I came to myself, and yes I have spoken about it in therapy, but they’ve only ever helped me examine the decision to ensure it feels completely right to me. He set his mother straight.
2025-09-03 20:28:46
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dana.yager :
Wow. I reallllyyy needed to see this today. Thank you 🙏🏻💕 I'm the child btw
2025-09-04 00:04:16
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kristiknuts :
Gosh such wisdom !!!!
2025-09-04 18:46:09
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sinderella207 :
my husband isn't in therapy so my MIL can't blame the therapist so i get blamed. i've been in therapy for 6 years, i started after the 1st time we had to cut contact with her and my therapist encouraged reconciliation. we did and 6 years later we're back to NC bc she never changed, she got worse, and it's likely bc we reconciled the 1st time with her not apologizing but saying "we just need to never talk about it again, it's in the past, let's just move forward". my therapist has listened to how her behavior, words, actions affected me, our marriage, our child and while she didn't encourage NC she supported the decision and apologized for ever thinking my MIL could change.
2025-09-04 12:34:12
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Lisa :
I what out said was definitely a natural response . I am now at the point of asking what role did I have in this amd trying to self reflect. Also it’s forced me a develop a more personal amd spiritual growth amd becoming more vulnerable ! Thanks you
2025-09-05 01:57:00
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Maria Smith :
@Codependency Kate (copied from response to both parts) thank you for clarifying that hypothesis in parts one and two. That may be the first step in my acknowledging my part and hopefully coming to a future resolution. You may have enough data to actually prove this to be a theory in certain cases. Well done!
2025-09-03 18:15:54
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Unfold the Brain :
👍
2025-09-06 16:54:16
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