Codependency Kate
Region: US
Friday 26 September 2025 15:35:43 GMT
6198
428
16
10
Music
Download
Comments
Forest Otrovert :
A perfect example of the damage of the golden rule: I had asked my MIL not to throw me a family birthday party due to wanting space from other family members who had been incredibly unkind towards me for many years. I didn’t go into detail about why (it wasn’t her business) but I just quietly asked her not to plan a party for me. A few weeks later, I showed up to a birthday party for her, which turned out to be a surprise party for me. I was livid. She knew that I wouldn’t have shown up if I had known it was a party for me, so she manipulated me into coming by saying it was a party for her. She loves birthday parties, so she couldn’t conceptualize that someone would not want a birthday party. At the time, I didn’t feel like I could react negatively for fear that I would come off as ungrateful for her and the effort she put in to throw me a surprise party. But I was absolutely livid. She needed to follow her tradition of celebrating every birthday as a family. I did not need a birthday party. I needed to be respected and space away from hurtful people. This experience changed my relationship with her drastically.
2025-09-26 16:43:30
16
The Marketing Realist :
YES - as someone raised fundamentalist Christian, and heard the “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” refrain weaponized to justify intrusive behavior, boundary crossing, etc, this is the way the script needs to be flipped.
2025-09-26 18:06:39
20
Pete 🌎n Ea🕊th :
Love this. My Diamond Rule is *tell* others the way you want to be treated. I spent a long time living by the golden rule, only to find that others didn’t know how to or that they should treat me the same way.
2025-09-26 19:01:41
11
bopbop_1357 :
What a sweet host mum to be so invested in teaching you … but so terrible for you having to “rude” by walking out mid chat. My fear of being late and my fear of being impolite would have given me so much anxiety. Good on you as a young student practicing self loyalty ❤
2025-09-26 15:50:38
9
River :
I preach this so much! I call it the Diamond Rule lol!
2025-10-24 17:34:44
0
Melissa :
yes but it doesn't help if the other person isn't showing love also....
2025-09-28 10:05:34
2
Notawaitress :
I’ve watched like 10 of your vids in a row and this blue is your color!! Totally random, I know. Love your content!!
2025-09-27 03:34:02
3
chiasophia :
whoa you triggered so many memories of this kind of people-pleasing. These people have NO IDEA the internal torment we were experiencing during this, and aren't typically hypersensitive to others actions like we are, so for us this is considered extremely rude, while they're just yapping about, expecting you to be honoring your own obligations. I remember feeling that resentment because they weren't respectful of my time, but that's codependency, expecting others to be responsible for me like I would be for them. So glad to be on the other side now!
2025-09-26 20:13:42
5
KrystlesWitchyWays :
YES
2025-09-30 14:35:18
1
psych rebellion :
I love this 👆👆👆👆 thank you excellent video!! You inspire me 💯🥰
2025-09-27 02:44:12
1
Kendall Leingang :
YES
2025-09-27 20:03:37
1
Forest Otrovert :
This requires people to be detached enough to realize that somebody else’s needs are different than one’s own needs. An EP may think that their EAC needs communication around birthdays/holidays because that is what THEY need. And then they are confused/hurt when the birthday card is not received well or ignored. On the surface, it looks like they are being kind and following the golden rule (“I enjoy receiving birthday cards on my birthday, so I’m going to send my child a birthday card. See! I’m treating her the way I want to be treated!”) But the EAC has a different need than the parent. Many families cannot conceptualize the individual needs of another person that are different than their own. And it looks like they are putting a ton of effort into repairing the relationship…but it’s directed at the wrong thing (what they would want/need rather than what the child needs.) and then they get more upset that nothing is working (and go on to do/say more harmful things). A whole lot of harm is done in the name of the “golden rule.”
2025-09-26 16:24:21
8
brittanie manson | minimal mom :
Thanks for sharing this!! I have struggled with this so much and have had people do it right before meetings or while my kids wander off. Having little kids made me more cut throat
2025-09-26 16:16:54
5
To see more videos from user @codependencykate, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.
