This might get muted, in that case I’ll reupload this, but anyway [update: it got muted, hence the low quality audio but at least I kept this on] I think this song really captures a relationship that’s both irresistibly attractive and self-destructive at the same time. For ‘Hikaru’, Yoshiki is the one he craves and is even tempted to kill because of his own nature - yet he loves him more than anyone else, because Yoshiki becomes his first real home, the person who gives him a new purpose and a new sense of belonging. For Yoshiki, on the other hand, ‘Hikaru’ is both the poison and the antidote to everything he’s been through. I feel that Yoshiki’s love for ‘Hikaru’ grows out of the love he already had for Hikaru himself, only this time it’s even stronger. I also keep thinking about how ‘Hikaru’ was born from Hikaru’s last wish and basically embodies all the love Hikaru couldn’t give Yoshiki (or all the love he still had for him, if you like). It feels like a kind of “passing of the torch”, though of course Hikaru’s feelings are separate and different from ‘Hikaru’’s own. Both of them love and hate what’s between them at the same time, both feel selfish, and both see themselves as the monster in the situation. I don’t even need to go into how many deeper layers there are, starting with Yoshiki telling ‘Hikaru’ not to be a normal human being. On the one hand, he says this because he himself never feels normal; on the other, because the humans he’s been surrounded by have never made him feel truly comfortable in his own skin, unlike ‘Hikaru’. This dynamic between them - wanting to kill each other at certain points, yet hating themselves, thinking they’re unworthy of each other, and both feeling like monsters - is exactly what reminded me of the line “You and I drink the poison from the same vine.” And then there’s the whole idea of “hiding all of our sins from the daylight”. The theme of sin is central to their story. Yoshiki is a closeted boy in a conservative, religious village, and his internalized homophobia is obvious to everyone. ‘Hikaru’ kills people (or nearly kills them) and Yoshiki is willing to share that sin with him. This idea of “sharing the sin” feels deeply tied to the queer theme of the anime for me, because Yoshiki gives ‘Hikaru’ what he has always longed for: the freedom to be himself, and someone he can share his “sin” with (or what he believes is a sin). That lyric felt especially fitting, considering that Yoshiki tends to isolate himself while ‘Hikaru’ has to hide his crimes - both of them hiding their “sins.” (A small side note: I noticed that many of their most meaningful scenes take place at sunset, which feels so fitting for the whole “hiding from the daylight” idea) In the end, both of them have to hide their true selves and both struggle to fit in. The scene where Yoshiki calls himself a monster just for being queer feels like the perfect embodiment of this whole theme. There’s so much more that could be said, but this is just a simple reflection to explain why I felt this song suited them so well. As always, I chose the scenes carefully, and also notice how the word “hate” gradually becomes smaller and lighter ;) I’m not caught up with the manga yet, but I just hope they get the happy ending they deserve. This edit is super long and pretty basic + i’m posting this at the worst time, but I hadn’t made a tshd-only edit yet, so it was long overdue #tshd #hikaru #yoshiki #thesummerhikarudied #xybcafyp - @voguesculture