It’s been 1 year since I lost my fur baby. He was more than that; he was the last reminder of my Nans home, the best company for myself and my sister whilst we lived there, my safe and special place. I grieved both of them the day he died, I had lost my home for the second time. All whilst my Nan was sick, I spent my time fixating on Mike. I would worry about where me and him would end up as we wouldn’t have anywhere to stay anymore. I couldn’t bare the thought of us parting. The evening we lost my Nan, I worried about how long he was outside for and if he’d come back because of all the people. When I moved back into my Mums, I worried about him being bored as he was no longer an outdoor cat. I got Morgan to keep him company and they were inseparable. A few months later I got sick and I was on bed rest. I was so alone but I always had them next to me. I wouldn’t look after myself during this time, but they always had their best from me. I wouldn’t eat, but they always had their favourite food. I would hardly speak to anyone, but they always meowed at me. When I ended up in hospital, Mike was my first thought. I knew that only I understood his niche routines, such as which blankets he made biscuits on and how you needed to keep Morgan by the fan as Mike always got first dibs on laying next to me. Even when my sisters cat Maverick would stay in my room, I always made sure each and everyone one of them got what they wanted. I fixated on them and ultimately ended up getting better as all I wanted was to be with my boys. He first became poorly in October and I rushed him to the vets. I cried the whole night without him. I felt silly and dramatic as I knew he would be coming home but I couldn’t bare it. I know when I am dramatic, life proves me wrong. In November, he became sick again. I felt dramatic taking him to the vets, and I waited for life to prove me wrong. But I was right. There was no more Mike to think about, and everything I put into him came out. I struggled for weeks after as I couldn’t understand the concept of heaven or that he was in a better place. I cried for more than Mike, I cried for my home; for my Nan. As the weeks went by, I cried less and less but the heavy feeling in my chest stayed the same. When I spoke at my Nans funeral, I said “grief is just love with nowhere to go”, but Mike took all my love for her. One whole year later, and I find myself crying for my home. But I put that love in Morgan and Maverick, because one day I will build a home for them, the same one I shared with my Nan and Mike. #catloss #petgrief #loss #rainbowbridge #catsoftiktok - @eves0260