children make me completely unable to regulate myself and my emotions. i will have meltdowns just as frequently as a child does because the child's meltdown would trigger one of my own. so get this......... I'M NOT HAVING KIDS.
2025-11-17 22:13:29
570
Ne Ne :
my mom trauma dumps on me about HER childhood
2025-11-17 22:52:58
338
crankypantspart.1 :
I always thought co regulation was me helping my child calm their body while I’m calm. not them being responsible for my regulation or feelings. Thanks for the clarity.
2025-11-17 21:35:23
265
Tiny :
same for teachers
2025-11-17 22:09:22
243
Ren E :
And it’s ok to take space from your kid to regulate yourself and then come back.
2025-11-18 01:12:13
206
yarronrod :
A whole lot of grown people out here that have not fully understood that they are an adult and what that might mean in relationship to people who are not.
2025-11-17 22:51:27
191
Mona :
I feel like most boomer parents are not self aware enough to even know that they were doing this. I’m going to be regulating my mothers emotions for the rest of her life
2025-11-18 07:53:00
135
athenakayofficialoldpage :
It’s a control tactic and binds your kid into a programming of codependency.
2025-11-18 09:38:32
140
Аni :
A lot of parents need to hear this “You are an adult”. Some expect more emotional control and intelligence from their kids than what they themselves are capable of
2025-11-18 12:42:16
90
shelb :
i was constantly told i needed to “be the bigger person” and apologize first to my stepmom. like huh??? i was a child
2025-11-18 11:41:03
88
renovatin :
this all makes sense but this isn’t what co-regulation means. Co-regulation is lending your calm and your nervous system to them to help them find their calm
2025-11-17 23:31:01
63
Bennie 🌕 :
wishing i could send this to my mother haha
2025-11-17 22:15:15
38
uncle jerry :
my mom has never been calm a day in her life
2025-11-18 15:52:33
36
Gabby Hemmer 🎵 :
this also applies to those who work with kids and teens... as a teacher, I see this abuse of power through expecting young students to regulate themselves when in reality WE need to regulate ourselves first and then help them regulate
2025-11-18 08:40:48
11
I’m baby???? :
i appreciate your perspective so much on this — i have always felt that parents even when their children are adults can’t use them like therapists, in the same way you can’t use your friends as therapists etc. People are always looking to find an “excuse” or a way to get out of admitting this behaviour is not appropriate. Thank you!
2025-11-17 22:42:51
26
Justine :
What a concise breakdown. I understood this in a way, my mom was like this all the time. But I hadn’t put it together quite like this.
2025-11-17 21:09:27
22
Jill 🇨🇦 :
I’m 41 can you teach my parents this 😂
2025-11-17 21:44:24
22
Wilburina Ballerina :
The only time my father ever became conversational w me was to tell me 'Stop talking to your mother about xyz. It upsets her. Stop upsetting your mother. Bad things happen to ppl (me). Get over it.' He was speaking of my VERY traumatic childhood.🤯
2025-11-17 21:48:52
36
JB :
that was my whole childhood lmao.
2025-11-18 06:47:20
10
quinoarat :
I definitely taught myself regulation techniques to use when my mom was screaming at me. I will never be the same.
2025-11-18 01:02:55
13
madsasn :
What do you mean by over nurturing and how does that impact a child negatively?
2025-11-18 01:37:32
11
🇨🇦 Death Before Comic Sans :
I tell them every time: I'm a grown up--I can handle my feelings, and you don't need to worry about them. And once we're both regulated, we can introduce how their feelings/actions affect me, as part of a wider understanding of our family dynamic. But first principles are always modeling self-regulation.
2025-11-18 02:58:29
8
Alissa :
“Are you calmed down now??!!” Sheesh I’m 40 years old and this is my dad 🥺
2025-11-17 22:05:20
6
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